Stranger Things Oneshots

It Feels Like I'm Drowning With No-one To Save Me - Steve Harrington x GN!Reader

Warnings ⚠️: Instructive thoughts, over thinking, sad reader

It wasn't like you meant to start thinking about everything all at once. Your brain just had this thing where it liked to do it at the worst possible time. You and Steve had gone to bed about an hour ago and as soon as he closed his eyes he was asleep, you on the other hand as soon as you closed your eyes the thoughts had started swirling. You hadn't even realised you kept moving either so caught up in your thoughts up until you felt his hand slide across your middle.

"Why aren't you sleeping" he mumbled, his voice muffled from where he'd pressed his face into the back of your neck since you were now facing away from him.

"I am" you replied weakly, closing your eyes knowing that he'd see straight through your lies. When he hummed in response and said no more, you figured he’d gone back to sleep which wasn’t like him at all because usually he wouldn’t rest until he’d put your mind at ease.

His uncharacteristic behaviour only added to your already racing mind. Did he no longer care? Or worse did he no longer love you? If you were in the right frame of mind, none of these questions would have plagued you because you know he loves, he never goes a day without telling you but you were too far gone to pull yourself from the downward spiral already set in motion.

“I can hear your mind racing from over here” Steve’s voice breaks the silence in the room, still muffled but his words were clear. Your eyes prick with tears as you find yourself no longer able to hold back the wave of emotion that had been threatening to spill over, you turn over and and bury your face in his bare chest hoping that he ignores the big fat tears that fall from you eyes.

Steve holds you without complaint and without judgment, his hand gently rubbing against your back as he lets you cry until you have no more tears left to cry. Even then he still holds you, not letting go until your pulling back from him, eyes wide as you look up at him although they’re still red and watery.

“Do-do you love me?” you choke out and he doesn’t know what breaks his heart more; to see you looking so small and vulnerable in his arms or the fact that you have to ask if he loves you. Steve always thought he made it very clear to you just how much he loves you, everything he does he does it for you, to make you happy, to show you how much he cares but he has to remind himself that this isn’t you. This is the outcome of everything that's been dragging you down and he hates that he had not picked up on the fact that you were slowly drowning but he’s here now and that’s all that matters.
“Baby I have never loved anyone more than I love you” he reassures you, slowly bringing his hand up so as not to startle you and he rests it against your cheek. His touch is sure and firm but gentle and loving all at the same time which causes more tears to well up in your eyes as his words sink in. “Now I’m not sure what is going on in that pretty little head of yours and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but if it all becomes too much I’ll be here no matter the time, day or night, you don’t have to suffer alone” he urges, following his words with a soft press of his lips to your forehead and when he pulls back there is no expectation in his eyes for you to talk but you trust Steve, you just needed that little push to open up.

“I think I’m just tired not like sleep or anything well I mean I am but more like there’s too much going on up here” you try to explain, bringing you hand up to vaguely gesture towards your head as if your words weren’t clear, “try as I might I just can’t seem to get my brain to shut off and then everything spins around and around until I’m dizzy and sick and I can’t think straight” you sigh, nuzzling closer to his warmth and the safety that his body provides.

Steve’s face softens and to you it almost looks as if he understands what you mean, as if he himself experiences the same thing. When he shifts his body it starts a panic within you, wondering if he’s leaving but it ebbs away slightly when he situates himself so that he’s propped up by his elbow. “Lay back for me” he encourages, keeping his voice soft as he attempts to guide you to lay back how he wants you and while you have no idea what he’s going to do, you know you’re in safe hands.

“Comfortable?” he asks once you are laid on your back, head against the pillow staring up at the ceiling. He waits for you to nod before he continues, “Good, now close your eyes for me and just listen to my voice” he hums and you hesitantly look over at him but he nods encouragingly at you and you slowly flutter your eyes closed.

“Start by focusing on your breath, take a deep breath in for me” he instructed softly, watching as your chest rose as you did as he said. “Good and now slowly release it” he coaxes, moving his hand to rub against your arm to add an extra thing to distract you from your thoughts. “And again” he says, walking you through it again and again and you have to admit, you do feel lighter but the thoughts are still there niggling in your brain looking for a chance to break through.

Just as your about to tell Steve it’s not working, he switches it up and gives you something else to focus on, “That’s it keep breathing like that but now focus on the feel of the bed underneath you, the softness of it enveloping you” he says, his hand still brushing against your skin, grounding you and reminding you that he’s still there even when he’s quiet, “feel it touching every part of you, now imagine yourself sinking further into it, can you feel your body getting heavier” he asks, not expecting an answer as he can see from the way your face looks soft now, no frown etched between your brows that it’s working.

Your not sure if it’s just your imagination but you do feel as though your body is heavy, each limb too heavy for you to even think about lifting but for some reason it doesn’t scare you. You push further into it as you realise just how much he’s managed to help you relax so that sleep can overtake you and as he carries on speaking you don’t even register the moment you finally fall asleep. Steve notices though, he sees the steady rise and fall of your chest become natural movement as it’s no longer being controlled by conscious thought, sees the peaceful look on your face and only then when he’s sure that your asleep does he finally lay back down next to you.

“Sleep well baby” he whispers so as not to disturb you as he lets sleep take over his own body again.