jealous boy | seungin

14

the game kept going on and landed on felix, who had to make eye contact with hyunjin for 1:00 minute straight. you could feel the tension in the air.

then it was han's turn, he picked truth and he got asked to spill his crush to everyone in the room. "lee know, obviously" he laughed.

i was still sitting in seungmins lap when the bottle landed on us.

"is it me or seungmin?" i asked, confused.

"seungmin since you went last" felix responded.

"dare" he smiled.

felix pulled out the card that read, "have a makeout sesh with the person closest to you"

nayeon looked at felix and blurted out, "but thats too far! he's dating me."

everyone stared at her in shock of finding out they're dating.

"just be quiet, you're the one that wanted to play" seungmin spoke over the silence in the room.

nayeon gave me a dirty look and just stared, waiting for it to happen.

all this time, seungmin didn't look away from me. he was still staring up at me and when i looked back, he smiled.

god i missed that smile.

i turned my body to face him then he pulled my chin with his left hand and put his right hand on my waist. he pulled me into the kiss and started kissing me passionately, but also aggressively.

he kissed me like he missed me.

i kissed back and when he asked for entrance for my mouth, i let him in. his tongue explored all of my mouth then soon enough, we broke apart, needing air.

people whistled around us and laughed as nayeon still glared at me.

i turned my body back around so i wasn't looking at seungmin as he leaned forward to spin the bottle. when he was leaning forward, he took the chance to put his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him.

that small gesture gave me butterflies. i promised myself i wouldn't feel this way for him again after he lied to everyone but i just can't.

i fucking love him.

i fucking hate him.

all of this, all of him is just too much. i stood up from seungmin's lap and felt him tug on my sleeve. i pushed my arm away and started to walk out to the balcony. i need some air.

soon enough, seungmin walked out to the balcony as well and i turned my head.

"hey" he blurted out. after a short pause he asked, "you okay?"

i turned at him with a blank stare, "you think i'm fucking okay? you're here acting like you haven't done anything to me and acting like everything's okay!" i yelled. i yelled at him. i didn't think i could ever feel so much hatred for someone in that moment.

he didn't say anything. i sighed, "this is exactly what i fucking mean, seungmin."

"i'm sor.."

"i don't want to hear that" i interrupted.

"but you want an apology" he pleaded.

"every apology starts and ends with an, 'i'm sorry.' you should know how i feel right now and know that a simple 'i'm sorry' isn't gonna be enough to fix anything. it won't make me feel better, it won't make you feel better-and god knows what the fuck you're feeling-and it won't make our relationship better. just please, act like you seriously care for my feelings and for me. please." after i finished my short speech i looked at him, not even noticing tears were spilling out of my eyes.

he looked at me with sympathy and walked over, wiping a tear away. i smacked his hand back and started to wipe away my own tears.

"until you can actually find something to say to me, don't act like you care." i walked inside and past the group playing truth or dare, trying not to let them see my tears flowing out fast.

from the corner of my eye i saw seungmin walk in and i just turned my head, looking straight forward.

"jeongin!" i heard minho call out my name and see him signal to jisung that its time to go.

"bye guys" jisung waved awkwardly to the group and followed after me and lee know.

we finally made it outside and when we did lee know turned me around and immediately hugged me.

"innie..what happened?" i could almost feel how upset he was just because i am.

"it just feels like he's using me" i sobbed into lee knows shoulder and hugged him tightly. i could see jisung's eyes soften and he hugged us both.

"maybe give yourself space from him, maybe he needs space as well" jisung blurted out, giving ideas.

i smiled at him, "i guess you're right, thank you. both of you." they both ruffled my hair and pushed me towards the car.

the whole drive home all i could think about is if i was too harsh with my words. then again, he couldn't say anything back to me, and that, honestly hurts.

we finally arrived at my house and just before i was gonna get out, lee know looked back at me, "do you want us to stay the night with you?" i smiled, "if thats okay with you guys, please." they nodded in response and we all got out.

i'm so happy to have them here, in my life, i couldn't ask for anyone better.

i opened the front door and saw my mom on the couch. "is it okay if jisung and minho stay the night, mom?" i asked, hopeful.

"yes of course!" she responded happily, probably not feeling any tension in the air. 'i'll tell her tomorrow' i thought, not wanting to ruin her good mood.

we made my way up to my room and all plopped down on the bed.

"what time is it?" jisung suddenly asks, refusing to grab his phone.

"12:30 am" i replied, yawning.

minho sighed and sat up, looking around cluelessly.

"how..are we all gonna sleep in one bed?"

there was silence, nobody knew what to say. me and jisung exchanged glances and just shrugged.

"you know..i don't want to share a bed with you guys considering y'all are gonna cuddle," minho gave me a death stare and i threw my hands up like i didn't do anything. i continued my sentence, "so, i'll just sleep on the floor."

"have fun" minho laughed and lightly pushed me off the bed, making us all burst out with laughter. jisung pushed minho down to cuddle, shouting, "more room for us i guess."

i got out some blankets and placed them on the floor, creating a soft area.

i smiled up at them, "goodnight."

"goodnight innie" they said in unison as i turned my back away, heading to sleep.