Random Writings Of A Random Writer

The Hunger Games: Goodbyes

An eternity later, or at least that's what it feels like, my family files into the room. Papa comes in first holding a still crying Meribelle. Mama comes in holding Hinny with Barley and Spade clutching her skirts. Spade is on the verge of tears and Barley has streaks down his cheeks where he's already let them fall.

Papa walks up to me and Meri turns and launches herself out of his arms into mine. I fall back onto the velvet couch as I hug her with all my might.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry Rye, I'm sorry!" She repeats over and over.

"M it's not your fault." I state. She stares at me with anguish flowing from her eyes.

"Yes it is! If my name wasn't picked and I wasn't sick you wouldn't have volunteered. and then you wouldn't have to go and you wouldn't have to die a-and..and you..." She breaks down sobbing, burying her face in my shoulder.

"Meribelle don't say that! This is not your fault. Your name was only in there once. There was nothing you could have done. You didn't put your name in there M, you didn't design a game of death. This isn't your fault." I reason. Eyes burning with intensity as my hearts burns too. It hurts me that she thinks she caused this. Sentenced her own sister to death. I would never blame her for the Capitol's scheme.

"Meri even if you weren't sick I'd volunteer for you. I love you too much to let you go into the Games. And I'd do it again a hundred times over. Understand?" She nods.

"I love you too Rye. Please come back." She begs. Her cyan eyes shine with tears and a false hope. I'm just a kid from District 9. I don't really have a chance in that arena. I'm going to.....I'm going to die. I can't panic now. I have to be strong for them.

"I'll try ok? I'll try as hard as I can." I promise her. I can't say I'll come back. That would be an empty vow from a doomed soul. I'm not guaranteed to come back. I might not even make it the first day. But I'll fight to get back to my family untill the last drop of blood leaves my veins.

Me and Meri sit for awhile. Holding on to each other. She's still crying, but she's calmed some. Papa kneels in front of me. There's a stange determination in his eye. A hatred, a loathing. The Capitol. The Capitol is stealing his child. He hates the Capitol. His eyes remain dry but I know it's just untill he's alone. He's remaining strong for them,  just like I am.

"Rye, listen to me. You're stronger and smarter then you think. Use your mind in that arena. Show them all what a powerful person you are. Don't let them change you, don't let them make you into something you are not. Stay strong Rye, stay yourself. You have a chance. So don't you dare count yourself out, ok?" He says. Passion swirls in his eyes. Dancing with the sadness hidden deep inside, behind his slowly crumbling walls. "I won't....I can't let this happen again. I can't stop them now. But I won't let the Capitol steal from us, never again." He states. It seems more a promise to himself then me. What is he talking about? How would he stop them? I don't ask. Instead I match his look of determination.

"Ok. I will, Papa." It's all I can manage. But he nods to seal the promise. He gently picked Meri back up. She's almost asleep now. Exhausted from the many horrors of today. Tears still occasionally running down her cheeks. He backs away and turns to Mama and the boys. It's their turn now.

My brothers bolt towards me. They cling to me like I'm a floating door and their ship just hit a glacier. I wrap an arm around each of them. Barley immediately starts sobbing and Spade looks at me with wide chocolate eyes as he leans his head on my shoulder. I rub circles into their backs in an attempt to sooth. We stay there. Just being there for each other. This may be the last time I get to hold them. I force the sob back down my throat. Now is not the time. I look at Spade, tears have begun to seep from his eyes.

"Hey Spade, Barley, I'll need you to take care of your sisters and Mama while I'm gone ok." I ask them, "Mama will need you big strong boys to help her now. And I need you to take care of Meri. Can you do that for me guys?"

"Yes Rye. I'll help Mama with Hinny. And I can make Meri the biscuits like you showed me." Spade says. A ghost of a smile forms on his lips in resolution. He's always been the more responsible one.

"I'll help too! I can help Mama carry the bales with my muscles!" Barley chimes excitedly.

"Yes you can," I laugh, it's a small, bittersweet one, but a laugh nonetheless. "And you two will need to feed Farmy every day and take care of her. And help Papa when he gets home." They both eagerly agree. For a moment, it feels like just another day at the house.

"But, that's just untill you come back right? You're gonna win, and you're gonna come back." And my heart breaks for the millionth time today. "You're gonna come back and then Meri will get better and everyone will be happy again!" Barley declares. Tears once again welling in his eyes and he tucks his face into my side. I hug them both close. Shushing them gently.

Knowing my time is almost up and I still need to say goodbye to Mama and Papa. I slowly get up. The boys reluctantly let go of me. I walk over Mama, who holds a blissfully ignorant Hinny in her shaking arms. I hug her tightly and a whimper escapes my throat. Don't cry don't cry don't cry. She doesn't say anything, but her gaze says enough.

"I love you Mama." I say. We Hold our position for a long time. Yet it's still not enough, it will never be enough.

Finally, I turned to Papa. He wraps me in his big muscular arms and for a fleeting second I can feel safe. He's my father, he protects me. Again, no words are exchanged, but they don't need to be. And then the Peacekeepers come in.

"Alright, times up." A gruff voice orders. I let go of Papa and begins to walk the family out of the room.

Before his feet can cross the threshold, Barley comes running back to me.

"Rye! Wait! You're supposed to have a token right?" He says. Grabbing something from his pocket and holding it out to me. It's a small bracelet made of wooden beads strung together with baling twine. On the underside of the beads, rudely carved into the wood, Are the words "Barley, Spade, Meri, Rye."

I smile. I remember when Barley came home skipping with glee to show us what he had made in class that day. He held up the bracelet proudly and we congratulated him on it. Then Papa had the idea to carve our names into it. So it would be even more special. I helped make those carvings.

"We still need to add Hinny." I say with a humorless laugh. I can't believe it slipped my mind in the last four months since she was born. But I haven't asked Barley about the bracelet in awhile. I place it around my wrist. It's a too small but I don't care.

"You can add her when you come back." Barley says. I don't want to argue because the Peacekeepers are getting restless.

So I just say "Ok."

I kneel in front of him and kiss his forehead. Giving him one last hug before my family is forced out the door. I barely have time to call out, telling them I love them all. Before they are gone. And I'm escorted out of the building into an awaiting car.