Random Writings Of A Random Writer

Lacking: Quailius and Tamar

Tamar was not in a good mood. He sat on the couch in the living room, shoulders slumped and hands in his lap. He stared at his hands as his thoughts and feelings reeled. It's been four days since Quailius had last kissed him, or hugged him, or gave him really any affectionate touch. Call him clingy, but he was longing for attention. Tamar always communicated his feelings for others through physical means. He never knew the right thing to say or what to bring them to make it all better. So he would only offer his arms as an embrace the person could trust. His relationship with Quailius was the same way. While Quailius would bring him gifts and clean and make him food or items, he'd love her through cuddles and gentle touches. That was just the way he showed affection, and he way he received it. However, for the past few days Quailius had denied every request for a touch or a hug. He knew she had her reasons, and he respected her space. Quailius didn't want physical affection as often as he did. But he couldn't help the small part of his heart that ached every time she hissed and pushed him away. Rationally, he knew she was rejecting the contact. But emotionally, he felt she was rejecting his love. His chest felt tight at the thought. She doesn't want my hugs, so she doesn't want me to love her anymore. His thoughts were maybe a tad dramatic, but they were what he was feeling. The past few days, he had been more sluggish and tired. Feeling much more melancholy and somber, then was usual for the normally hyper serpent. He really needed a good long hug to recharge him.
Tamar sighed loudly and brought his knees up, wrapping his arms around them. He had walked into Quailius' office while she was sharpening her knives earlier and tried to kiss her cheek. She'd pushed him away and told him to leave her alone. His heart panged. She doesn't want your love. You won't get love from her. A cruel voice taunted in his mind. Tamar buried his face in his arms and groaned quietly. He barely heard footsteps coming into the room and felt the urge to hide. He didn't like being upset in front of others. He was supposed to be happy.

"Are you still pouting?" Quailius called, irritated, as she walked to the couch. Tamar whined again. It was embarrassing to be like this, even in front of his Terracela. And to be called childish just made it worse. Qualius stared at him for a minute and then sat down next to him.

"Ok. So you're actually upset." She stated, surprised. "What's wrong, Tay?"

"Nothing." He mumbled into his arms.

"Lies." Quailius contradicted. She scooted a little closer and furrowed her brows in concern. "Hey, can I touch your shoulder?" She asked in as gentle a voice as Quailius could manage. Tamar perked at the mention of contact, but since it was out of pity, he deflated again. Still he nodded. Quailius softly placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed her thumb over his scales.

"What's really wrong, Tamar? Can I help?" She prodded.

"It's silly." He huffed.

"I'm sure it's not."

"Yeah, it is. I'm just being stupid about it."

"Tamar, your feelings are not stupid." Quailius adamented. "Would you say I'm stupid when I tell you how I feel?"

"...No." He admitted. "You know I want you to be honest with me."

"Exactly." Quailius deadpanned. "Now quit being a hypocrite and tell me what's wrong. If you can't right now, that's fine. Yhen tell me if there's something I can do to make it better, please Tamar." She cranes her neck to stare into his eyes pointedly. He sighed and shifted uncomfortably.

"You said you didn't want me to kiss you." He explained. "It's silly, but it kinda - oh, this sounds so dumb- it kind of hurts my feelings when you reject me over and over. I know you don't mean it, and you need your space. I get that, but it just does." He sighed and looked at her from the corner of his eye. "I only want to touch you because I love you, and that's how I express it. And when you say I can't, then it hurts, and I feel like you don't want me. I know you do and it's my dumb heart being sensitive but.... yeah." He shrugged, faking indifference.