Random Writings Of A Random Writer

Insecurities: Tessaiden

Insecurities:

"Tess?" Kaiden called out as he rounded the corner of Tessa's favorite cliff side to find the girl leaning back on her hands and she watched the clouds. Her head snapped around at the sound of his voice.

"Oh, hey Kaiden." She said in a subdued tone. She subtitlely turned her right shoulder away from him. Kaiden grew curious as he sat down. He noticed she was wearing a dark blue t-shirt. Strange, since Tess was normally one to wear longer sleeves. He moved over an sat on her right side, peering at her right shoulder. His eyes widened slightly as he saw the large burn scar on her upper arm.

"Tess, when did that happen?" He asked. She shrugged.

"Erikaya burned me a few years ago. It was an accident, she didn't mean any harm. She was hunting and forgot I was on her back."

Once again she tried to angle her arm away from him, looking nervous. Kaiden tilted his head and gently grasped her arm. He lightly touched the scar with a finger.

"You're thinking about something, are you alright?" He prodded. Tessa sighed and shook her head.

"Not really. My head hasn't been in a good place lately. I'm, well I'm  feeling very insecure today." She admitted without looking at him.

"Over a scar? Tessa you've shown me your other scars before." Kaiden was perplexed.

"I know. I'm not usually very self-cousious about it. I don't care what I look like at all really. But..... I do still notice things. Things I wish looked different, better." Tessa sighed. "I'm not shallow, I really try to not let it get to me. But, all the little whispers start to build up over time. Can you understand that?"

"Oh. Yes, I understand Tess. I'm sorry you've been feeling that way about yourself." Kaiden kissed the scar gently, then moved up her arm and nuzzled into her shoulder.

"I have them too." He placed his forearm in her lap and turned it over. Showing off dozens of scars on his hand and along his arm. Tessa took his wrist gently and traced a fingertip over a long, harsh scar that ran from his wrist almost to his elbow.

"I know. And your scars are handsome." She admitted as she traced over a few smaller ones on his hand.

"Exactly. Your scars are just as beautiful as you are Tessa." He affirmed. He rested against her shoulder again and they were quiet for a few minutes.

"Is there... anything else you're insecure about, Luchamohor?" Kaiden asked hesitantly.

"You're asking for a list?" Tessa huffed incredulously.

"No, no. Sorry. I'm just having a hard time thinking what you could possibly be self-cousious about." Kaiden looked up and tilted his head to the side. His eyebrows furrowed. "Do I ever say things that make you doubt yourself? I don't mean to but if I have-"

"No you don't Kay." She assured quickly. "You're way too sweet for that." She chuckled and kissed his cheek. He relaxed and wrapped an arm around her waist. Tessa looked down shyly.

"Well. I guess I'll start with the obvious. I'm not very skinny. I normally don't mind it, I know It's just because I'm built heavier but still, in certain outfits the... fluff is obvious and it bothers me."

Kaiden's arms tightened around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Tessa leaned back against his chest. "You're not too big Tesserya. You look fine, well more then fine, you're stunning." He murmured. "You're so graceful when you dance, you're so pretty in firelight, it makes your eyes glow. You're exquisite, all of you." Tessa couldn't stop the blush or the grin from spreading over her face. She intertwined her fingers with Kaiden's and squeezed his hand lightly.

"Thank you." She said genuinely. Kaiden smiled back at her.

"Next?" He asked in a light tone. Tessa sobered and curled in on herself, making Kaiden frown with worry.

"I'm not as strong as people think I am." She almost whimpered. "Mentally, l mean. Everyone expects a lot from me, and I'm an Alpha so they should. But, I feel like I'm drowning.
"Like maybe.... maybe I'm not strong enough to handle everything that gets thrown at me. What if I can't take it? What if I'm failing at being who people need me to be?" Tears sprung to Tessa's eyes and she blinked them back as best she could, taking in a few shaking breaths.

"Tess.." Kaiden whispered. He slid her out of his lap and circled around to her front. He took her face in his hands, eyes burning into hers intensely.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way. Luchamohor, you are enough. What you're doing, how hard you're trying, you're doing enough. Tesserya, you're amazing. You've proven you're strong enough because of how hard it is to be were you are."

"It's ok to take a break for yourself, or to step back and say you need help alright? If you're drowning, tell us so we can help pull you out." He pleaded fervently. She leaned towards him and he moved closer.

"May I?" He requested and Tessa nodded. He kissed her lovingly, reassuring her with his actions where his words could not. Tessa's arms slowly wrapped around his shoulders and they broke off the kiss into a fierce hug.

"Thank you, mo corri. I love you so much." Tessa murmured and she buried her face in his shoulder. Kaiden leaned his cheek against her head and stroked a hand over her hair.

"I love you too, Tresure." Kaiden said as he played absent-mindedly with the ends of her hair.

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Luchamohor = my treasured one
Mo corri = my heart

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