Dating Mistakes

Chapter 14

Elaine

I put my fingers through the three holes of the bowling ball and swing it with all my might...but obviously, my aim is so off, it doesn't take it two seconds to go tumbling down the gutter.

"Ugh, I suck at it!" I raise my hands up in the air and let out an exasperated sigh.

We're at the Woodys-Lane for the third time this week. I don’t like bowling very much, simply because my aim is worse than a person throwing their very first ball down the lane, but this place is amazing with dark wood structure but light coloured lanes and metal gutter that clang everytime a ball enters them. I hate that I have to listen to it everytime I try. The lights are dim and yellow and screens are everywhere. Above every lane, above the snack counter and other games.

"No, Elaine, you don't suck. You just need a little practice. Here, let me show you how it's done." Noah stands behind me and retrieves another ball. He hands me the ball but this time, he puts his hand over mine and guides my body in the right posture. I feel a sudden rush of adrenaline run through my spine all the way down to my toes at his touch. He's looking at the lane and telling me how to throw the ball right but I am too caught up looking at him to pay any mind to his words.

He sways our entwined hands gently and throws the ball.

STRIKE!

I see all the pins go down but I don't care anymore. Right now, all of my senses are focussed on Noah. He looks down at me with a victorious smile and I try to return it, but instead, end up sucking in a sharp breathe as I stare at his lips. He dips down and I close my eyes in anticipation.

This is it. My very first kiss.

I can feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks and my heart racing a mile, a second as his breathe fans over my face.

"Elaine," He whispers, before pressing his cool lips to my cheek and I grab onto his arm, involuntarily. He sighs against my skin and says my name again.

And then, he brings up his hands to my face and caress my jaw before kissing me. Softly. A kiss, barely there but a kiss nonetheless.

I don't even know or care who's around us anymore. I'm a lost cause as I stare into his eyes, trying to find the same feeling as I am right now.
But for some reasons, I don't find it. In fact...it's actually something quite opposite. Because in a matter of moments, his contended expression is morphed into something I can only describe as...Panic. That's what I see.
And then, he abruptly releases me as if I burnt him. As if...

"Oh, no, no, Elaine! It's not that. No, I...," He must've seen something on my face that betrayed my thoughts. I wasn't exactly being subtle about it, anyway. "I just think that it was mistake on my part to do that when you clearly aren't ready. When you told me that, explicitly. I'm an idiot, Elaine. Please, I'm sorry."

Oh. Oh!

"No you don't have to apologize, Noah. It's okay. I let it happen, remember? But yeah, you're right. Let's just take it one step at a time." I take a step further away from him.

"Yeah, okay. Well, I'll get us something to eat, I guess. You can still try to throw it right this time, though." He smirks and I cringe. Seriously, I suck at bowling. No questions asked.

So, instead of reminding myself of the hideous truth, I sit on a bench nearby and watch Noah as he stands in the queue, his focus on the screen of his phone. I wonder who that is.

Come on, girl! Don't act like a crazy girlfriend even though you're not one, yet.

I shrug off the idiotic voices in my head and instead focus on him. He's always been a little weird about taking pictures, though. I mean I never asked but he never insisted, either. And whenever I tried to click a picture, he always said he'll take a full one of me than a selfie. While it is a nice gesture, I couldn't help but notice that he somehow avoids being in pictures with me or generally. So, this time I decide to take a candid of him, instead.

I pull out my phone and open up the camera. I wait and angle my camera towards him. I hear the click and feel the phone vibrate in my hands indicating that the picture was taken. Only his left side profile is visible from where I'm sitting but the picture turns out to be great.

It's him looking up at the screen above the counter at the menu trying to figure out what to order while still holding the phone in both his hands, thumbs raised like he stopped mid-typing. He's wearing a black half sleeves t-shirt paired with faded blue jeans and white sneakers. His light brown hair shines under all the lights and I stare at it, transfixed, for several seconds. He is good looking, I must admit.

Even after what happened today, he still doesn't make me feel the same way when I'm with Ethan. I mean I kissed the guy right now, though this swarm of butterflies is ever present whenever I so much as think about Ethan.

But Ethan is still my best friend and doesn't see me that way. This guy, however, is nice and wonderful. He respects my space and seems to be understanding about my friendship with Ethan.

Ethan, obviously, wasn't all too happy about this new development but he came through. He told me to be careful and made me promise to not hide anything from him that might be hurting me. Like I could ever.

I open up my chats with Gemma, trying to rein in my confused train of thoughts and wonder if I should send her the picture. I know she would be thrilled to finally put a face to the name she's been hearing over and over again. I wait for just a beat or two before I hit the send button. Noah wouldn't even know. Although, Gemma would, finally.

I'm giddy with excitement as I wait for Noah to return and Gemma to text me back. Gemma's response comes a few moments later and I gape at the screen, my previous elation replaced by horror and disbelief. It's something, I never would've expected. She's sent me a picture, too. I blink several times, if only to erase the image in front of me. No, unfortunately, no such luck.

No, this can't be happening...

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