Chapter 4 - 3 am

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-Zayas pov

I sit up startled looking around at my now dark room. How did I get up here? I know I dont sleepwalk. I shake my head in confusion.

I check my phone for any notifications seeing that my do not disturb is on. I don't remember putting that on. I have a text from Mateo six hours ago telling me he went home since I fell asleep. How did I end up in my room?

Checking my phone I see it's 3 am. Mateo left and my mom is gone on her trip for a few more days I think so I'm home alone. My phone vibrates and I open the notification to see Vicente sent me a photo of Mateo in his pool floating with a beer in hand. Mateo never drinks unless influenced and that normally happens around Vicente.

I text Vicente asking if Mateo is ok and he responds with a thumbs up. I normally can't trust Vicente but I think Mateo is good for now. And I have to clean tomorrow and find stuff for school.

I head to my own bathroom since I got the master when my mom divorced my dad and I brush my teeth. My dad was a horrible husband to my mother but a good dad to me. He ended up sleeping with a co-worker while my mom was working a full time job and going to college just so that she could support us.

I usually go to bed around ten to stay on my sleeping schedule but tonight it looks like I have to switch it up a little bit. I spit the toothpaste out and put the drain for the bath in and start the hot water. I wouldn't want a love like my parents. They were in a honeymoon phase at first and it was all good and I was born then they started to slowly resent each other.

My parents didn't realize it but their fucked up marriage affected me and how I see love. I try to tell myself that It won't turn out like theirs but I struggle with that sometimes. When a guy flirts or just even talks to me I get nervous then think what would happen if we got married. Would we start to hate each other? Would we have a kid then argue over who gets rights? Not something I want my life to be at all.

Whenever I confine in Mateo about this issue he always say the same thing "you are not your parents and neither am I." The phrase helps me understand my thoughts sometimes but it doesn't always work.

Mateo has had more of a love life than me. He would always tell me about the women he dated and how great the relationship was. He ended the relationship soon after saying they were not what he was looking for. He would go on and on about what he was looking for in a girl. He wanted her kind, respectful, smart, witty, brave. All the traits of the "perfect women" he would tell me. Mateo doesn't give women many chances anymore. No one has peaked his interest as of late and it intrigues me.

I grab my favorite pair of underwear and pumpkin scented candles and slip out of my clothes and step into the bath. The water is a light blue, my unpainted toenails look weird in the wavering water. Should I do a bath bomb? Nah, no point, the only time I use a bath bomb is when I have sore muscles.

The only time I'm sore is when I get back from cheer practice. I've been thinking of not doing cheer for my senior year, I already signed up but I'm sure coach would understand I hope. Being a captain during my senior year would be crazy and stressful, I need to focus on my future instead maybe.

I take my hands through my hair so it's up in a high bun instead of being wet by my bath. I sit down so the steam dances and waves around my knees. Oh shit I still have my expensive ass earrings in. I mumble curses while fumbling with the backs with wet hands. Finally getting them off I set them next to my clothes on the floor so I remember to put them away on my vanity.

Is this a music kind of bath or a thinking one? This question always stops me in my tracks. I ask myself the same question to help. Do I have something on my mind or do I need background noise? Choosing the latter I reach over the tub and play my relaxed playlist. GONE, GONE / THANK YOU by Tyler The Creator starts to play.

Today was a great day I got to see Mateo for the first time in a while, My mom went on a vacation suddenly (didn't even text me), I got to sleep in my own bed, I start school soon, and I got to eat my favorite food today. Speaking of school, I need to figure out if I wanna waste gas driving myself or have Mateo drive me. On one hand, I would have to spend hella cash, on the other I would have Mateo driving and making him drive sounds like a good idea. It's a deal. I need to let him know before school. I'll shoot him a text real quick.

Valdez🫧⛈️

I decided that you'll be
driving me to school daily
Read 3:59 am

Thanks for letting me know
But why are you up?

Can't sleep 🤷🏾‍♀️
Read 4:04 am

Make a cup of tea and
Take some melatonin

Thank you Valdez <3
Read 4:09 am

Mateo knows I tend to wake up and can fall back asleep around this time. Sometimes I feel like his body purposely wakes up this time naturally to correspond with mine. I feel weird saying that but it's like a physic thought or something. Or I'm just going crazy but I hope not. What would Mateo do without me?

I lay my head back on the tub and listen to the faint song playing. I tap my fingers mindlessly on the side of the tub and let my mind drift to random thoughts and messages. My mind tends to swirl around this one thought: Vicente's antics and flirting. He was never seemed serious about anything he said to me. I mean I had no reason to believe him anyway. Vicente was a known playboy. Sleeping with girls and not texting back and someone even told me he forgot their name.

Vicente wasn't on my range of dateable guys but he was hot I guess you could say. His personality wasn't the best I could say since we practically grew up together. Him and Mateo were best friends as he says (Mateos not the biggest fan of him)

Vicente was the on the low type guy and I'm not that type girl. I want to be posted, I want flowers, I wanted to be shown off and not kept on the low, I deserve to be acknowledged. Vicente crazy for thinking I'd ever be with him. I feel like we don't match up, I like reading, painting, connecting with nature, and journaling. Vicente likes soccer, weed, cars, fame. We couldn't co-exist as a couple but I can't help but wonder if we could try.

My bath has run cold after all this thinking. It's probably around four thirty and I have plans tomorrow so I need some sleep at least. I pull the drain and sit as the calming feeling of the water slowly draining hugs my tight chest. I can feel all my stress slowly slipping away as the former steam wraps around my head and whispers sweet nothings into my ear. Rolling my lips I stand up and shake the extra water off. Drying off and dressing I walk out the bathroom and take my hair out and slip my silk bonnet on.

I climb into bed after plugging my phone in. My mind drifts around and dissipates into nothing. My eyes slowly close and I barely have the strength to pull my comforter up to my shoulders as I slowly drift to sleep.

A/N
Word count: 1451

- Ella

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