About You. (Matty Healy)

10- (Don't Let Go).

Coolest Place in the World by Suki Waterhouse

"I think anywhere that you are, coolest place in the world."

Hiding by Florence and the Machine

"I know there's a part of you that I just cannot reach."

January 2019

Matty stood outside a crowded entrance theater, a ticket in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. There was a light snowfall that filled all the empty air. The snowflakes caught the illumination of the marquee, lighting up the night sky. Her name was enlarged across the top of the building right underneath a title, "Pit Against You by Jade Marie Smith." The signage alone made him smile with pride. It was opening night, something he honestly wouldn't have missed for the world.

He shuffled his way into the building, taking extra precautions with the flowers he held close to his chest in order to protect the petals against the horde of people. A lot of time was spent contemplating what to pick for an opening night gift. In the past, he had the habit of gifting her red roses, which seemed all too romantic this time around. He still thought that sentiment and tradition of flowers suited the occasion. A decision was eventually made on an arrangement of blue, white, and green hydrangeas. They would go with the decor of Jade's new apartment. 

After being directed by an usher, Matty made his way to the center edge of the mezzanine. The seat that Jade had reserved for him was the best seat in the house, her best-kept secret. He knew she would be sitting in the front row of the stalls tonight, amongst the rest of the creative team of the production. As he came alone, he had nothing to do except study the program and keep aware of his peripheral vision for when she entered the theatre. His eyes were not the only pair of eyes that would be searching for her. It was typical of her to be the center of attention at these events. Anyone who knew any detail of the process of the play would treat her as much a spectacle as the play itself.  It was her world, one of the very few places where she walked with ease. He also couldn't help but pay attention to the pre-show music. It was one of the very few moments where Matty's world would collide with hers. An emulsification of strings paired with synthetic rhythms created a sound of urgency that matched his heartbeat. It impressed him, causing an excitement that was challenging to contain while seated amongst non-talkative strangers. 

A figure dressed in crimson caught Matty's attention. His eyes looked down to the aisle below him. Jade turned heads throughout the audience. They'd wave and she'd wave back with a pageant-like charisma. Even though he was above and behind, Matty kept his focus on her. There was hope that she would capture a glimpse of him, so he could join in on the waving. He ran out of time as the lights went down.

A woman stood on stage back-lit from stark cool light. The space turned liminal and for the first minute, she stood still and only breathed. One could feel the stillness in the room. It was as if all the life had frozen into thin ice that could be shattered. Matty was in awe, knowing that this was something Jade would have very much intended. Suddenly, the woman fell to her knees. The volume and sharpness of the action invited some comfort back into the room. The audience started to breathe again. The actress clasped her hand together and two other women kneeled beside her. They copied her movements. "Dear Lord, please don't let me become my mother," they spoke in unison. That line had acted as its own comic relief to its painful sharpness. Some members of the audience laughed while others sat in discomfort. In one sentence alone, Jade created a statement that captured irony, sincerity, and maybe even greed and guilt of sorts. Matty was almost jealous of how she was able to achieve so much complexity.