About You. (Matty Healy)

19- What Does All Our Love Amount To?

Content Warning: Drug Use.

"In Heaven, lost my taste for Hell."

Wolf by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

"It won't mend your heart if it's only a couple of lines."

Milk by The 1975

July 2015

For three months, it seems that Matty kept his word on staying away from cocaine. Now, he had a new fixation, a new drug that had pretty blue eyes and an inspiringly creative mind. She brought a new purpose to his life, although he wasn't quite sure what it was.  His head was cleared of a haze, and now he could approach her with an unconscious dedication. 

Matty had solidified a place in Jade's life at just the right time. She was happy to have him by her side. He motivated all areas of her life. Writing started to become easier for her. Perhaps he was a bit of an inspiration to her. There was something about him that made the world seem like an okay place to be, the method to all of life's madness. 

Together they were like a speed train, incapable of letting anyone slow them down, only making the stops when it was necessary. All their free time went to one another. Each night, one would spend the night at the other's house. Sometimes it would be simple dinners, other times it would be a destination after a party. Their reasoning really came from whatever excuse they come up with to be consumed in each other's company. They were two candle-lit flames that, when combined, created an isolated fire.

It had been two weeks since Matty and the band left to record their album in Los Angeles. He had asked Jade to come, but there were a lot of painful logistics in the way involving her residency and her visa. They still talked as much as they could. Jade was becoming a bit of an insomniac from staying up late to Facetime Matty after recording sessions. They missed each other immensely. Parts of their daily routines were missing. Emptiness took an extraneous effort to fill. Neither of them thought they could feel such a strong sense of yearning. With lovers past, they'd normally forfeit and dampen any coal left hot.

Now, Jade was currently standing at Matty's hotel door. She had planned out a surprise visit to see him for the weekend, even though she wished she could stay for longer.  Ross, Adam, and George helped her plan everything with secrecy, although Jade didn't trust the men to be all that subtle about it. 

Jade knocked on the door with her right hand and held on to her small duffle bag with her left hand. Her heart started pounding. It was one of those moments where it felt like time had a way of stopping and flying past her at the same time. Memories, predictions, and anything else that appeared in her brain came and went so sporadically that she couldn't make anything of them.

The door started to open and it was like everything spilled out of her the moment she saw Matty's face. 

"Surprise," she said to him, both of them incapable of being aware of the tone she used.

Without a clear understanding of timing, Matty's eyes brightened, he took a deep breath, and then he kissed her with a heavy intensity, a way of making up for lost time. The flames re-lit spontaneously. 

"Fuck, I missed you," he said before kissing her again.

 With a consistent rhythm, Jade placed her hands on the back of his head, making sure to deepen the affection that he gave her. It was like a cure for an ailment she didn't know she had. Matty took hold of her hips as if he needed them in a state of survival. His lips made their way down to her neck, the quickness of which made Jade look up at the ceiling for a moment, forcing her to become aware of her surroundings.