Virtually Real

Chapter-36

Naomi 

Door opens and Marc enters. "Let's go for breakfast." He announces and I nod. I follow him to a small room with two couches and one table. It also has a bar at the other end. We both settle on the couch and wait for our meal. "Naomi?" He says and I look him in the eyes. "Is there something you wanna talk about?" How does he know? 

"Umm... I ... I want to ask you something." Words slip out of my damned mouth, before I know. Crap.  

"Sure, ask me." 

"Maybe... no, it's not a good idea." I whisper.

He keeps his reassuring hand on my shoulder, "You can ask me anything." 

"Hmm." I nod, still hesitating to ask.

"You have full right on me. Go ahead and ask what you wanted to." He says and rests my head on his chest. I find peace in his arms... unmatched peace. "Ask me." He says again, his voice comforting. 

"Umm... I... I don't..." I'm unable to form my words. How to ask someone about their past? 

"Ask me, Naomi. Why are you nervous?" He asks gently.

"I... okay." I can do this. "Were you... a virgin before last night?" I come out of his arms as I say those words. He looks at me, perplexed. Shit. It really was a silly question. 

He takes a deep breath, making me nervous. "No, I was not a virgin. I've done it, before." He says and I feel like someone just punched me in my heart, hard. But why? I knew the answer, already. 

I swallow. "With... how many-"

"Just one. That too, once." What?

I look at him, astonished. "Once?" 

"Yes, before you, before last night. I only had sex once." 

Marc 

I look at her, she looks, puzzled, and... surprised, at the new revelation. She looks a bit hurt, too. I'm worried what will happen when she knows my entire story. Nevertheless, she has to know, someday. We both have to face it. 

I just... hope that she doesn't decide to leave me and my life, with my deadly past. But, even if she does that, I guess... I have to withstand it. I look at the floor. 

"Okay." She says, almost whispering. I wait for her to ask any further questions. At what age? With whom? But she doesn't. 

"You don't wanna know... whom I lost my virginity with?" I myself ask her and she looks at me, with a 'I-can-ask-that?' look on her face. Ofcourse, you can. You're my sweetheart, darling. 

"Who?" She asks. Hesitation evident in her tone. 

There's a knock at the door, and one of the staff members appear with our breakfast. I look at her as he arranges our food on the table. She never leaves my eyes. "I'll tell you. But first, eat your breakfast." I say as soon as the person leaves. She nods and we both begin eating. I know that she's nervous, so am I. I've lost my appetite. 

After about half an hour, we finish our silent meal. I take her to the lounge chairs beside the swimming pool, on the deck. "Before I answer your question, I want to ask you something." I say as we settle in the new location. She looks at me, "Why didn't you ask this question before, last night?" 

"What difference would that've made?" She looks perplexed.

"What if... my answer today, makes you regret last night?" 

Her expression relaxes, "Nothing. Nothing an ever make me regret what happened, last night." She holds my hand, "It was a magical night. Which, until yesterday, I believed existed only in dreams." She says and my mouth drops. How come she always leaves me spellbound? 

"Okay." I sigh. "I'll tell you about my past, and the only girl in my life, before you." I look at her, she looks unsure and anxious and the same time. But the way she never leaves eye contact with my eyes, tells me that I have to do this. I should do this. 

Okay... time to tell her about Felicia. "Six years ago, when I was twenty four. I was... engaged to a girl." I say and notice her eyes widen. 

"Engaged?" She asks me astonished. I nod. "You loved her?" She swallows.

"It was arranged by mom and dad. But... I fell for her. She was my first love."

"Wh... What was her name?"

"Felicia. She was the daughter of a famous fashion designer, Eric Greene." I heavily make eye contact with her. "I was... twenty three, when we first met. I still remember the way she looked. Her brown eyes, ambitious. She wanted to become a businesswoman, like her mother." Naomi has her eyes fixed on my face. "Mom and dad... asked me if I wanted to meet her. I had no pressure, I was free to say 'no'. I was not at all in the favour of marriage. I was too young and wanted to establish so much, that I had in mind. I wanted to fulfil my dreams, before starting my own family." I pause. "So, I said yes just to meet her. But, when I met her-"

"You fell in love with her?" She asks.

"No, it was not love at first sight." I tell her and notice her tensed face relaxing, slightly. "She was a year older than me. She wanted to get married after she was twenty-five. So, that meant... we had time. And... I liked her determination, passion towards her dream. We shared the same dream, to establish a business empire. I thought... we could fulfil it together. All this... made me... say yes." 

"So, you guys got engaged?" 

"Yes. we dated for more than a year. And... in that one year, I realised what love is. What it means. I cannot lie to you, Naomi." I look at her, "But... she was the first person, I... ever... actually loved."

"You lost your virginity with her?" 

"Yes. I devoted my life to her. I wanted and... needed her for the rest of my life. I wanted to live with her. I thought... she was perfect for me. But, I was wrong." 

"Why, what happened?" She asks, "Why did you two leave each other?" 

I sigh, "I guess... she was not... as devoted to me, as I was." I say with a smile that did not reach my eyes. Involuntarily, tears begin filling in my eyes. 

Why? Why does she still have an effect on me? Why do I always fight myself, whenever I talk about her? Why?