Chapter 17: July... Time to Learn

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       Beau rolled over and glanced at his phone "one A.M." he groaned "Damnit." He closed his eyes and pulled himself to the same location as that white room then reached for a higher plane within his mind trying to force his mind to relax and just shut down and rest. After a couple hours he rolled over and looked at the clock again.

"Three am," he sighed "since the brain won't shut down I guess I'll get up." He kicked back the covers and climbed out of bed. "To the kitchen" he put on his robe and grabbed his paper, envelopes, stamps, pen, A's letters and the packages he prepared the night before.

Lately Beau had been wondering, since he had been comparing A to everyone, he was wondering if his muse was trying to tell him something. As in does he know her or him outside of the letters, if they had met yet or not. There were several people he now suspected. That's what made him realize that he wants the secrecy to end but he wasn't sure if she was ready.

He sat everything down on the table, made himself some tea and microwaved a breakfast burrito. One by one he read through her letters again, there were nearly a hundred. They had been writing continuously since he received her first one. "What's going on Dad?" Chy wearily rubbed her eyes.

"Wondering about A."

"As in...?"

"Why the secrecy... why the game?" He sat the letters he was reading down and rubbed his temple.

"I can sort of understand," she pulled out a chair and sat down "the number one thing I get from people is you are the exact same, why does anything matter."

"I've met both of your sides and you are nearly the same. But the more you explore your sides the more unique they both become."

"Yeah, that's the way it is with some Gender-Morphs but not all. Some of us have completely different personalities according to gender but others it's like what we are, is just what we are. To them gender is just a change of clothes."

"Does it bother you to be thought of as the same?"

"Sort of, because it feels like I'm not being true to both sides..." she shrugged "I don't know how to fix that."

"Start with your bedroom, look around as female and rate everything in there, then do the same as a male. You might be surprised, you might learn something about yourself that you didn't know." He looked back at the letters "I just wish it was something easy with her."

"What do you know about... them?" She looked at some of the letters then quickly put them back down "wow..."

"Yeah, we get frisky sometimes. Sorry about that." He blushed as he moved the risky letters away from her "I do know they both prefer to be referred to as the female side when referring to them as a whole you know as in overall. But that's only because she was born in female form."

"Okay...and you clearly know her preference in the bedroom but what about outside it?"

"I know so much about how she speaks, the words she uses and the way she phrases things. Same with him, but they shockingly don't reveal much else. Sure I know long list of favorite... favorite color, favorite movie, favorite music style, favorite food, favorite book..."

Suddenly she understood "But it's the way she feels in person you want to know." Chy smiled "Dad Muse tend to be empathic or narcissists. You are clearly an Empath and are just seeking her on a deeper level."

"How do I fix this?"

"Hang on," she got up and headed to his room when she came back she had something in her hand "try this," she handed it to him, "have her hold this for say a few days to really get her feel on it then you can wear it."

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