My Immortal

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Moving side to side, Adrien twisted and turned in his bed; unable to rest knowing what the morning entailed. What he was about to do?

10 years.

How had it already been 10 years since that day?

10 years of not knowing who or what he was; not without the additional heart and strength to complete him, the perfect side - his perfect match. The intense hurt and pain just wouldn't fade. It didn't matter what he tried or what he did, it lingered inside him like a bad itch, catching him off guard in his lowest moments and battering him down, making him weak. It was an itch he just couldn't reach though, instead it resides inside him causing a constant question of what if?

Though Paris was once his pride and joy, he didn't live here anymore. He wasn't part of Paris and Paris wasn't his home, but it didn't matter; no distance could help subside the harm this city had caused him; the scars it had left.

Rolling once more, Adrien sighed and gave up on his attempt at sleep. Looking at the digital clock on the table beside him, he prayed it would be displaying an hour where he could convince himself it was a suitable time to get up.

4:37am

A groan left his mouth as he pushed himself into a sitting position; not ideal, but sleep was eluding him so why bother trying anymore. He could just begin the day early, prolonging the feeling of undiluted dread in his gut. He gripped the sides of the mattress, his eyes focusing on the clock as it ticked over onto the next minute. Adrien's knuckles grew whiter by the minute, his grip on reality tightened just as his fingers did on the hotel bed.

4:38am

After all the years of denial, he was back. The feeling churned his gut in a way that made him feel nauseous. He shouldn't have agreed to this. But after today, it was over. He would clean up his self destructive act and move on. For his own sanity, and the future he wanted, he had to move on.

"Are you awake?" The familiar, gruff voice of his kwami greeted his ears as the creature flew to settle itself on the table beside the bed. Plagg positioned himself next to the alarm clock viewing his holder with deep, concerned sorrow in his eyes. The glistening added to the fact he wasn't doing too well either.

"I didn't really sleep," Adrien sighed, rubbing a hand over his face in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension.

"You didn't need to come back, you know," Plagg said, his eyes soft and reassuring. A constant support to Adrien as he dragged himself from the floor and pieced his life back together - time and time again.

"I needed to do this. It's been 10 years, she's not coming back and we..." he trailed off, closing his eyes once again and seeing the nightmares flash behind his lids. His nose flared and throat burned, his tongue pushed hard against the back of his top teeth.

The nightmares always increased at this point in the year. They became more vibrant almost to the point he couldn't tell what was real and what was a dream anymore - some memories replaying like a whole new experience. He needed to draw a line and move on, so after 10 years he was finally going to say goodbye to Paris - once and for all.

Goodbye to his friends.

Goodbye to what remained of his family.

Goodbye to her.

The wind began to howl outside the window; the glass rattling uncontrollably against the frame as it was pushed and shoved by the force of Mother Nature. Unpredictable. Harsh. Unforgiving.

Nosies continued to insult his ears as a downpour of rain joined the party in a sporadic attempt at synchronising with the wind. The perfect start to a truly horrendous day.

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