Sonic Incorrect Quotes and Extras

happy april fools!

(PLAY THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG IF YOU CAN, ASAP. IT'S AN ACE ATTORNEY STYLE VISUAL NOVEL W/ SONIC ELEMENTS-- I AM DYING)

(side note: barry is what the player character of MoStH is named in the launch trailer. Ian Jr. is the character of Ian Mutchler, who has appeared in various Sonic media.)

Shadow: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

Eggman: You spent all your money on THIS??
Ian Jr., putting tiny raincoats on Flickies: They live outside. They need this.

Barry: Hopefully Dr. Eggman has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Eggman: Oh, shut up and die Barry.

Metal: We're kind of missing something guys.
Sonic: Cohesion?
Vector: Teamwork?
Barry: A general sense of what we're doing?
Sage: And Ian Jr. is not present.
Sonic: Oh, and that, yeah.

Barry: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Metal: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
Amy: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

Sonic: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Knuckles: What's that?
Sonic: Remorse code.
Knuckles: I'm even angrier now.

Shadow: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.
Sonic: So you're just gonna wait until Tails is in danger and save him?  I swear Shadow, if you--
Shadow: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts him in danger and then save him.
Sonic: ...
Sonic: You're insane.

Amy: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Eggman: What did you do?!
Amy: NOBODY DIED!
Eggman: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Amy: I saw you fall, saw the sinners lay on your corpses...
Ian Jr.: Hey, what's up with Amy?
Amy: I created you, made the pieces perfect, others marveled at your beauty... their gazes may have held envy, though, for none are perfect but you. I was only looking away for a moment, but you were gone. I had failed you. And I fell into despair. The only way to save myself was to create, but I knew... this time I knew I was only making you to die. And I apologize. For I will undoubtedly fail you again. For a short time, there will be peace and beauty, but none in the face of us shall lay undisturbed. The greatest have fallen, and will continue to fall, and I weep for you for being born unto this place, where brother eats brother, and the undeserving rise to fame. Those that have gone against you know they've wronged you, and they will stand before the creator, knowing they have sinned. Do not worry, little ones, you will be avenged.
Barry: ...She made some rock towers and went somewhere else for twenty minutes and when they came back the rock towers were destroyed and people were sitting where the towers once were, so she was sad and made more rock towers.
Barry, to Amy: Hey, who even is the creator? I thought you were an atheist!
Amy: SHUT THE HELL UP, BARRY! I'M TRYING TO BE DRAMATIC AND MYSTERIOUS!

Vector: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek soundtrack.
Amy: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Cop: What are your names?
Rouge: Don't tell him, Shadow.
Cop, writing: Shadow...
Rouge: Crap.
Shadow: Nice going, Rouge.
Cop:
Shadow: Uh oh.

Ian Jr.: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

Barry: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Rouge, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

Sage, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the--??
Sage, buckling the banana up: You must have your seat belt on! It's required by law!

Blaze: Good morning!
Sage, checking her watch: Correct.

Tails: Hey, are you free?
Knuckles: No, I'm expensive.

Ian Jr.: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

Metal: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.
Knuckles: I photosynthesize with this.

Espio: Damn, Eggman, are you secretly cool?
Eggman: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Espio: I do not.

Rouge: I love sarcasm! It's like punching people in the face, but with words!

Rouge: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.
Tails: Being a fish.
Rouge: Well, shit.

Eggman: Why are you on fire?
Blaze: This is just how my day is going.

Sage: I love the term 'partners'. Are we in a romantic relationship? Are we perhaps stealing the Master Emerald? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

Ian Jr.: Are you an 'arr' pirate or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?
Barry: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.

Tails: It's quick, it's easy, and it's free: pouring river water in your socks!
Sage: Why would I need to do that?
Tails: It's quick, it's easy, and it's free!

Eggman: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Sage: How are you still optimistic, father?
Eggman: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Espio: Sonic, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?
Sonic: It... It didn't take me the whole day...

Sonic: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Tails: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Sonic: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Tails: You forgot pride.
Sonic: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

Sage: I wish I had more enemies.
Rouge: I'm sure you will someday, honey.