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deadly games ❝catching up❞
Being on your way to which you knew would be your loved one's last game, made you nervous. You talked about your fears to him, opened up to him about every single thing bothering you on the inside and he comforted you, trying to make it disappear and succeeding in a way. Both of you were stubborn, so you didn't try to talk him out of entering the King of Diamonds and Chishiya didn't try to talk you out of waiting for him. You were good at waiting for him and then engulf him into a warm hug after risking everything. There were little things that both of you appreciated. The most precious thing being that he was your missing piece and you were his light and the motivation to do better. To be better.
"I'll be right here when you get back." you told him and he nodded.
"I know you will." he said and you hugged him in a sudden way. The hug was tight but comforting and necessary.
"Be careful." the way you said it was low, almost as a whisper next to his ear.
"You too."
That's when the hug ended, leaving you a feeling of emptiness. He flashed you an encouraging look and then turned to enter the game.
However, you didn't want him to go just like that. Not when he was about to enter a game with a high difficulty. You walked over to him and touched his arm in order to catch his attention again. Once he faced you he held a questioning look. But instead of offering him any explanations, you kissed him. Just like that, as if it was the last time, you pressed your lips against his. Like there was no tomorrow and no future, you only focused on the dance of the two pairs of soft lips. But like any beautiful moment, it had to come to an end. At the end, you pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes. Only to feel his presence.
"Don't panic." you warned him through a whisper. The following words you were about to let out would either freak him out or calm him down. "I love you."
And expectedly, he created some sort of space between your two bodies. His eyes were looking at you as if you told him the biggest lie. Because he still didn't think he could be loved. But if you just said it, you probably also felt it.
"Don't just throw words." Chishiya said and you frowned. It came out worse than he intended it to.
"I didn't say it waiting for you to say it back. I said it because I feel it and I want you to know it."
"I care about you, but I can't say the same as you." Chishiya showed some regret even though he didn't actually apologized.
"I know, I don't expect you to. Think of it as a little push for you to give your best in this game and get out of it alive." you said and then pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Now go."
Chishiya could only look at you while hesitating. Was it really not affecting you the fact that he wasn't capable of saying it back? To him, once he said it, there was no going back from it. He'd give his everything, his soul and everything he owned. He needed more time. While you watched him walk away slowly, you smiled. You really understood why he couldn't say it, you were past the phase of expecting him to open up like you could. So you just focused on him entering the game. This is his game. He had to go, you said to yourself watching his back disappear. To him, the King of Diamonds was like the King of Hearts to you. Your most difficult specialties.
