1: Tongue play, eating out, and other food-related things (among others)

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Oh my FSM, I just found an old keychain from when we went to the petting zoo.

Dayum, I was such a smol bean.

Thank goodness I actually grew out of child size 6-8 clothes about the time I turned 16.  😭

But the DONKEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!  😍😍😍🤗🤗🤗


Bro: *S l o w l y licking his dinner plate while he makes constant eye contact with me*

Bro: *Turns around and fidgets for several minutes, making sure that I get the best angle of his tongue*

Me: ..............

Me: Are you trying to be erotic or something?  

Me: ..Because it isn't working.

Bro: It wasn't meant to be erotic.  It was supposed to be one of the most disgusting things that you've ever seen in your life.

Me: *Points wildly and deliberately and him*  Um, excuse me, but I live with one of the most disgusting things ever!!!

Him: *Nods*  That's why I said one of.


Oh, the things that that child can do with his tongue.


................................


Like look utterly ridiculous.


He uses it like a spoon when he's eating, I swear to the FSM.


He c u r l s it like a dog lapping up his dinner.  


And it looks so WeIrD.



"Balls will be absolutely prohibited."  -Mr. Bennet to his family in Pride and Prejudice.

All of the women: *Le G A S P*



Going to a restaurant in Welland be like: (Lily's Chinese Cuisine, it's a nice place.)  ;)

Lily (The owner): Aah, you back!  *To brother*  You hungry boy, I remember you!  Dinner for five?

Bro: *Grins and nods subtly*

Me: *Whispers to him*  I saw that.

Him: *Grinning*

Her: *Nods*  Okay, I get your food.  

Her: *Yelling to the employee in the back*  DINNER FOR FIVE!!!

My parents: *Finally realizing*  Whaaa-?

Me: *Calmly*  Chill, he already ordered for you.

Her: *Quickly brings our food*  

Her: *Smiling and standing by my brother, waiting for him to take the first bite*  Eat boy, eat!  You hungry, need much food!

The rest of us: .........................

Me: *Quietly*  I'm pretty sure that we all need food once in a while in order to live.


Seriously, the looks of pure adoration on that woman and my brother's face as they gaze upon each other.

She's happy to see someone enjoy his food so much.

And him?

He LiKeS iT wHeN pEoPlE bRiNg HiM fOoD, aNd He DoEsN't EvEn HaVe To LiFt A fInGeR.


It's a symbiotic relationship.

Like parasitism.

I'll give you one guess as to who the parasite is...  😑😒😜



Ah, nothing like going down to the basement and having a ghostly hand grab your own.

Me: *Immediately Y A N K S my hand out of grandfather's*  NOW YOU STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!!!

Grandfather: *W h o o s h*



*Solemnly*  May the Easter Lizard grant you much health and prosperity this Spring.

Kid bro and I: *Look at each other*  Is this some sort of weird Hungarian tradition, grandpa?

Grandfather: Oh, sure!  You have the Easter Bunny, but we have the Easter Lizard.

Us: Seems legit.  



Okay, but imagine if Mrs. Benedict and her kind were the mascots/focus characters in Ninjago.

"Long before time had a name, Bawkjago was created by the First Cluckitzu Master, using the Four Worms of Cluckitzu. The Worm of Quakes, the Worm of Lightning, the Worm of Ice and the Worm of Fire. Worms so powerful, no one can handle all of their power at once!"

And she'd have Lloyd's powers, but better, because she's MrS. bEnEdIcT.

Fugi-Dove would be their ultimate nemesis.

She'd electrocute him on a regular basis.

And he would die, but be constantly reborn, just like practically everyone in the canon show.

Oh, that would be something that I'd watch with such sheer JoY.

Somebody call the producers.



Lloyd: Just be yourself.  Say something nice.

Reborn and reformed! Garmadon: Which one?  I can't do both!

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