nights with you | Haechan ff

Chapter Thirty Four - Stupid

H A E C H A N S
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How could I be so stupid? Why did I run when she asked me that?

My answer was right there about to come out "of course I'd choose you!" I yell punching the alley brick wall, startling a passerby making them fumble their phone in their hands as they pick up their pace. Probably thinking a disgruntled drunken man was about to kidnap them.

Why couldn't I say those words to her?

All I want to do is hold her in my arms again, I long for the feeling of her fingers running through my hair. I get Mark-Hyung to do it but just doesn't feel the same, he won't grow out his nails for me either so that's a problem.

I sigh as I look up to the cloudy skies, they look just as unsure if they're going to rain as I am that I have control over my own body. That's not what I wanted to do in the moment.

Am I afraid of hurting her again? Should I just leave things where they are so I don't risk messing everything up again? I'd rather just have her in my life than not at all..

Is it out of fear of knowing Jaemin likes her now? What if she doesn't choose me?

No. She's mine, and I need to show her that I never want to hurt her again. I'd give up everything in a heartbeat for her, like she said she followed me even after I practically abandoned her. If I can't follow her anywhere than what kind of man am I? Definitely not one she deserves.

I need to tell her she's always going to be my first choice as long as she's by my side and I'm not going to screw up again like last time.

Her tear soaked face is forever etched into my nightmares, taunting me with the past. I just want to make her happy again.

Wait a second... I can't remember where I parked my car from here.

That means I have to trace my steps back to Minyoungies place, which isn't as easy as it sounds. I probably should've had my eyes open while I was running, I was really only glancing to make sure I didn't run into anything.

It's alright though, I only took two left turns. My go to when running away in an area I'm not familiar with.

That makes it sound like I'm constantly being chased in sketchy places.

I make it back to Minyoungies before halting in my steps. There Jaemin was leaving Minyoungs place, turning back to say something to her but she smacks his shoulder. "I told you none of that before I figure out my feelings" she says a bit loudly while trying to shoo him away.

"You started it Minyoungie" he smirks back at her, the rage boiling in my blood. As he turns his head he makes eye contact with me, stopping in his tracks as I did when I saw him.

"Hyung, what are you doing here?" Jaemin asks, an eyebrow cocking up in question.

"I was coming here to get you for our photoshoot in 30 minutes" I lied, it was true that's where we had to be but it's none of his business. "What about you? I thought you and the dreamies were here earlier and left."

"Weeellll I stayed behind for a while, Minyoungie and I were bus-" "okay you two should be going, how about I ride with you there?" Minyoungie says as she grabs her purse.

"What were you helping her pick out her outfit?" I scoffed at their almost matching outfits.

"You know what, I actually did. makes us look like more of a pair" Jaemin remarks, pointing between him and Minyoungie.

"Which we're not, I just had no idea what to wear and you know that Jaeminie. so let's get going before you two are late again. I don't want to be blamed for it for the third time so get your asses in the car. Haechan you're driving because it's too bright. I call shotgun because I'm not listening to you two argue over the radio" she rolls her eyes as she hops into the passenger seat, slamming the door and immediately resting her head on it.