A Voiceless Lioness (Peaky Blinders)

Those three words

(Tommy's P.O.V.)
I was watching her closely after finding out how she lost her voice. She looked sad. She looked angry. At this moment she couldn't put up her wall to hide her emotions. And for some odd reason it made me trust her. "You are able to talk, right?" I asked her to which she made a facial expression which told me "sort off". She wrote down how she was able to talk. By placing a hand against her neck where the vocal cords are located she is able to talk. The pressure of a hand helps the vocal cords out with making the vibrations that make the sound. With her hand she showed me the place on her own neck. I copied her as a reaction to which she shook her head with smile. "Does it hurt when you talk?" I questioned her. Which was stupid because of course it would hurt her if she talked. If not she would be talking. Luckily, Leona is a patient person and nodded her head at me none the less. She also wrote something down before showing me. "You get used to the pain. After all, its not the worst part of it". Her eyes moved away from my gaze and sadness was held in them. I didn't want to pry and question her what she meant. Leona is a patient person but I do not want to test it on this subject. So instead I asked a different. "Do you miss talking?" I questioned her. She looked back at me and thought for a second. She leaned over the desk and wrote down again. "No. Not talking". I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion "what do you mean?". She didn't answer me, she only turned her head to look somewhere else in the large livingroon. My eyes following hers to the piano. Before I could say anything Leona stood up to walk towards the piano. She sat down by the piano and hovered her fingers over the keys. Clearly hesitation swarmed her body, not letting her play. She let out a brief breath before softly playing the keys. I watched how her mouth opened as if she was singing but no sound fell from her lips. Instantly she stopped playing and her body showed dissappointment. I stood up from my chair and walked over to her. From the corner of her eye she watched me sit down beside her. "You miss singing more, than you do talking". She nodded at me. She then closed her eyes and takes a deep confident breath. Before placing a hand on her neck over her vocal cords. With her other hand she starts to play the keys. It did not give the same feeling as when she played with both hands. And her passion to do it right stopped her from continuing. She let out a shakey breath in defeat. I turned myself and showed her my hand. Showing her that I wanted to help her. She eyed me apprehensively. "Please. Allow me" I carefully told her. It took some time but she eventually agreed. Carefully she grabbed a hold of my hand. But she stopped right before putting my hand against her neck. I heard her breath shudder. It was no suprise why she didn't place my hand on her neck immediatly. After all, one could snap her neck or choke her in that exact spot. She composes herself before pressing my hand carefully against her neck, showing me that she trusts me. Her soft skin was like silk under my fingers. And I never wanted to pull my hand back. I felt her take a breath before beginning to once again play the keys. Then she began to sing and she took my breath away while doing so. "I dreamed a dream in times gone by. When hope was high and life worth living". Her voice snagged on the prongs of my feelings. "I dreamed, that love would never die. I dreames that God would be forgiving". It wasn't the singing voice of an oprah singer or a choir. Her voice cracks here and there. "When I was young and unafraid. And dreams where made to be used and wasted". The pitch wavers occassionally, her breath support is poor and thin sometimes, the tempo is off for a few moments. And that is what makes this perfect. Stunning. Mesmerizing. "But the tigers come at night. With their voices soft as thunder. As they turn your hope apart. As they turn your dream to shame". The breathes she took and the broken notes gives the song so much emotion. As if she was singing about her own life. "I had a dream, my life would be. So different from this hell I'm living". You can feel the hurt and pain in her voice as she sings. "So different now from what it seemed". But even with this raw emotion she had when singing. Even when she held the tears back, it was her facial expression she put out that made you rethink of trying stop her from continuing. She might be in pain and her voice might be hurtfull. I could tell she was still enjoying the fact of being able to sing again. I looked at her and could feel myself smile slightly as I watched her.

I now realized how enthralling her beauty was from up close. And it was agony to comprehend her beauty in just one glance. Was this what falling in love with someone was like? Not something big and amazing that you knew straight away, like in a story, but a slow thing that crept over you in waves until you woke up one day and found that you were head-over-heels with someone quite unexpected. When meeting Leona I wasn't attracted to her, but as I got to know her more, I felt my look to her change. Looking back at it now, I was actually falling for her. This person that was once average to me, had became the greatest most beautifull person in the world, and perhaps even the most importaint. And I never saw this coming. "Now life has killed the dream. My dream". She finished the song and a defeaning silence filled the livingroom. I hear my heart thumping in my ears as I try to recollect my thoughts. I moved my hand from her neck to her face. Ever so lightly, as if she was fine china that would break under to much pressure, I turned her head so she would face me. Something caught me of guard. Her lower lip had a red tint to the usual pink colour. I realized it was blood. "You're bleeding" I told her quickly and felt myself begin to panic. This was the thing that she found worse than expierencing the pain when talking. My eyes scanned her facial features, trying to find a hint of discomfort or a cry for help, while I felt myself panic slightly. But there was absolutely nothing that told me she was in danger. "Tell me. Tell me you are alright" I said to her and felt myself panick. She frowned her eyes at me, not understanding my sudden panic. I needed her to show me she was alright. With fear I carefully grabbed a hold of her face a and loudly begged her "Tell me you are alright! Please!". Her face softened and she put a hand to my chest to push me back slightly. I watched her carefully as she grabbed a hankerchief from her pocket. Before wiping the blood from her lip and then looking back at me. She grabbed my hand and placed it against her neck again before saying "I'm alright, Tommy. It will heal". My eyes closed and a breath of relieve escaped my own lips after being told she was ok. While I tried to control my breathing, I felt Leona lean her forehead against mine. My emotions took over and I moved my head to kiss her but pulled back rethinking my choice. But I quickly noticed she never moved away from me. So I leaned forward and kissed her.

Her eyes closed, then her lips parted and she kissed back. Mouth warm and firm against mine. That floating feeling washed over me and through me, it was pure bliss. Her lips tasted like a heavenly poison when they met mine. From that moment I knew that I could grow to 100 years old or visit every country in the world. But nothing would compare to this single moment. It's an innocent kiss at first. Soft lips meeting, a gentle pressure that creates a slow burn. The type of kiss you give to someone that means something. This isn't the type of kiss to be wasted. Her lips pressing into mine. Her hands pulling me closer before running up and down my back and into my hair. Every thought in my brain is stripped and replaced with Leona. Her and her alone. Finally I am able to convince myself to pull away to tell her something importaint. Yet my brain fails to string any thought together as I look into her stunning brown eyes. So I simply pull her back to me and hope that my kiss will show her those three words.

Published: 10th of April 2023