INVADER JIM!!!- Where Zim is slightly more competent! Secrets!!!

Bestest Friend- Keef who?...Pt1

Zim felt seconds away from vomiting as the most insidious smell drifted upwards from his skool meal tray up to his olfactory gland. Whatever this human “Food” if you could call it that, was absolutely most certainly not consumable by an Irken. He shifted where he sat by himself in the corner of the lunchroom, using his spoon to push around the so-called cylindrical “Peas” on his tray to collide with the apparent “Mashed potatoes” that shivered on its own.

So gross, even touching the stuff would likely have him break out in hives, he was sure. So, in turn he decided yes, perhaps there were a few things on this planet that may or may not kill him, skool cafeteria food being pretty high on the list.

Zim was immersed by the skool food despite this, due to it being too strangely gross, he was caught off guard when out of the blue a hand came from behind him, and a heavy push caused his head to slam into his mashed potatoes. It seemed another one of the skool children had slipped on their way to sit, a rather heavyweight one at that, and tried to halt their fall by leaning on Zims head. But that was not of Zims worries, he was too busily spasming in his seat as his underneath skin started to break out in the worst rash imaginable. All the while, through the pain, he managed to pick up a conversation from a few passerbys.

“That new kids a freak you know? I think his name was like, Zip or something.”

“Yeah, I know right? I mean, he’s been here long enough to at least make SOME loser friends, like the creepy weirdo kid Dib…”

Dib? Who is Dib, what a dumb name. Zim let out a grunt, deciding to push through the searing pain and lift his head to listen in better. The interaction was between a bunch of female humans, the leader being that of a blonde named Jessica. Next to the blonde, a girl with black hair nodded in agreement. The conversation, to Zims inconvenience, continued between all the girls at the table.

“Or those rejects in the corner!”

“Exactly. But look at him, all alone, all by himself, being weird. I mean, what kinda sad freakazoid kid doesn't have friends… It's so… Inhuman…”

“Maybe he’s one of those aliens that weirdo Dib is always talking about…”

“Haha, maybe…”

Inhuman. Alien. Oh this wasn't good, Zim figured. He gulped audibly as he felt glares from all around, while the words swirled around in his head, his brain churning as he tried to calculate the possibilities of getting found out so early in the game…

Suddenly, he envisions himself surrounded by 3 scientists, while he drifts inside of a glass tube filled with sludgy green ooze. There are groups and groups of photographers and human civilians surrounding as well. A reporter was quick to hold a microphone to one of the scientists holding him imaginary captive.

“Congratulations on discovering the grotesque alien space monster and saving the world! Tell us, how DID you figure out he was an alien all along, even with his fantastic disguise and cover story?”

The imaginary scientist shrugged and crossed his arms.

“Well, we noticed that he didn't have friends…”

Friends. Friends. The word echoed in Zims brain as the dream sequence faded away as the imaginary public closed in on the scientists and by extension Zim. What a terrible thought! It caused Zim to gasp, the searing pain of potato burns long fading away as he frantically scanned around the room for any sign of depressing loneliness-ness he can excuse himself for… Certainly, not EVERYONE had friends? Humankind shouldn't be THAT stupid right?

But sure enough, he was once again proven wrong. He saw a strange looking lizard boy offering cupcakes to a few others, further making friends with them. He saw two children sharing a lollipop, kids playing pass the ball, making friendship bracelets, etc etc…