Finding Her

Flashback

July Of Last Year

I'm in the office after getting kidnapped.
Jane holds me tightly and my fresh cuts sting.
"I- I killed him!"
I cry to her.
"It's okay baby."
"NO!NO it's not! IT'S NOT OVER"
She holds me as I sob in her arms. 
"Why did you decide to come back here baby instead of the hospital?"
"I- I feel safe here"
"I understand baby but you need to get checked out."
"He only wanted to scare me! He only hit me a couple of times!"
"Still, you need a full body exam"
I immediately panic because I think of my scars and fresh cuts.
Jane has never seen my full body.
Every time we fuck, I make her turn off the lights.
She stares into my eyes as a doctor comes in.
"Hello Dr.Isles , I am Dr. Samantha Taylor."
I shake my head
"Your services are not required"
"They are because we need a report."
I sigh as Jane pulls down the blinds and she closes the door.
"I'd like you to remove your top for me Dr.Isles"
I shake my head rapidly.
My top is bloodstained from my nose bleed but I don't care.
I'm adamant that I won't take it off.
"Would you like me to leave baby?"
Jane questions
I shake my head.
She nods and Samantha smiles.
"How about I patch up your lip first?"
I nod.
She opens up her bag.
She pulls out the kit.
She puts some cream onto my lip.
I wince slightly as Samantha finishes.
"Now this is gonna be hard but I need you to take off your top"
"I-I can assure you that he did nothing else"
"You still need to show us baby"
"Jane's correct. Please pull up your top for us Maura."
I shake my head rapidly.
Is this how it's revealed?
I think to myself.
I keep shaking my head.
"How about you remove your pants?"
I shake my head faster.
Jane gets fed up.
I yell at Jane who's trying to remove my top
"Get away from me!"
My top has already ridden up and revealed the grotesque cuts I've done to my stomach.
Jane moves back from me shocked and she lets out an audible gasp.
Samantha sees them.
"Did that man do them to you?"
"N-No"
Tears begin to fall
"Who did them to you?"
"I- I did"
"Is this why you like the lights off baby?"
I nod rapidly as we both are now crying.
"Oh honey..."
"You shouldn't have done that!"
I yell at her.
"I-I'm sorry baby"
I push her off me as she tries to hold me.
I eventually let her hold me.
Samantha leaves to talk.
"Why baby?"
She questions as she cups my face.
"I-I don't know!"
I show her the ones on my legs and thighs.
"How come I don't feel them when we fuck?
"They're new"
I cry.
She holds me tight.
I snap out of it and Jane is staring at me.
I've been standing at the dresser, tapping my fingers off it for around 30 minutes.
"You okay?"
She questions.
I shake my head.
She immediately gets out of the bed
She comes over and hugs me.
"I-I had a really bad flashback."
I tell her as she helps me back into the bed.
"What was it about baby?"
My voice is trembling and shaky.
"It was when you found out about - my self harm"
"Oh baby"
"I shouldn't have treated you like that...I'm so sorry baby"
"You were just tryna keep it a secret baby. I am the one who should be sorry"
"I-I love you so much"
I kiss her and she kisses me back.
She spoons me then I fall asleep.