Lü Bu Vs Thor (Pt 1)

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The crowd roared in excitement, the first battle of Ragnarok about to commence before their very eyes

Zeus: ah hah, now THIS shall be interesting

Odin: hm...

Göll: L-Lü Bu can win, right Chaos?

Chaos: oh, don't ask me that question, sweetheart. Ask our dear Brünhilde~

Brünhilde: ...

"FUAHAHA"

A proud laugh came from the human side, Lü Bu's army roaring praises at their leader as a muscular bearded man wiped his mouth, accompanied by a somewhat thinner but lankier man with a bun and a long mustache

Zhang Fei: humanity fighting the gods! Goes SWIMMINGLY with alcohol, doesn't it, brother?!

Liu Bei: hmm... well, it is still baffling to me. When it comes to the best champion of the Three Kingdoms.. shouldn't that be the one who we deified while he was still living? Which would be you, wouldn't it?

???: in terms of military strategy, perhaps. However, in terms of pure fighting prowess, I've got to admit...

A mechanical figure was what Zhang Fei was on the shoulders of, the hulking deity being the largest thing in the army of Lü(coa) Bu. His eyes were of pure energy, and the most organic part of the body was the beard, which grew long enough to be under the god's chest

Guan Yu: the best in our time... is none other than the mighty Lü Bu Feng-Xian! Hah, and his army hasn't changed in the slightest

The cheering from thousands of men only intensified as their loyalty was clear; these men only fought for their bloodthirsty barbarian of a leader, and the only hoes they would smash are the hoes their alpha deemed worthy

"Fuck 'em, general!"

"Make sure to tear that puny god apart!"

"Yo where's the bathroom?"

"Piss yourself! We are here for Lü Bu!"

"Aww maaaaaaaaan..."

A soldier then reached out his hand, the fingers pointing up in a halting motion to silence the onslaught of praise. The sound of spear staffs stomped through the crowd, the silence and prayers of warriors causing a silence from the human side as Lü Bu's military advisor thought to himself with a stoic expression

Chen Gong: (my lord... we are all here! Whenever your presence is there on a battlefield, we shall always not be far behind! I... I never...)

What a stoic and dedicated troop. Anyone can tell how he vowed his power to the Chinese warrior, and if only there were more people like him in the wo- huh? Is he... is he cryi-

Chen Gong: (I never dreamed... that I'd see you on the fields of battle again!) BWAHHHHH!

You uh... you need a napkin, bu-

Honk!

Oh, my bad

Chen Gong: I'm overcome with emotion!

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