The Ties That Bind

Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

A/N: Trigger warning, this chapter contains suicidal ideation.

     Helping feed people who were in desperate need of food was supposed to leave you feeling good about yourself, so, why did Kasden feel so... unnecessary? Would anybody even miss him if he wasn't around? Was he really as inconsequential as his mother had made him feel with her words after the charity banquet?

     Kasden had never felt as sad and lonely as he did at this moment. Not even when he was a five-year-old, waiting for his mother to come back to take him home. This was the first time in his life that Kasden had ever wished that he wasn't, that he would be better off having never been born at all. It would be so easy to end it all; there were so many things going through his mind at the moment. So much grief and pain that he wasn't sure he could get past it.  

     This was so much more painful than waiting for weeks, hoping, and watching for his mother to come back and get him. At least back then he still had hope, now all he felt was empty.

<Flashback>

     "What have we here?" A kind voice woke the little boy from his restless sleep beside the door. 

    Was this the person his mother had told him would come to get him? Was he going to take the boy back home? Before he could think of anything to say, the boy began shivering from the cold, wet clothing he was wearing. It was still dark outside, and the tired boy was cold, wet, and slightly grumpy; not to mention his head felt all clogged up.

     The boy rubbed his sleepy eyes before turning to look up at the kind-looking man who had spoken. He was dressed in a black robe that reached to the floor. The boy had never seen a priest before and was curious why a man would be wearing what appeared to be a dress; a saggy, unattractive dress, but a dress, nonetheless.

     It didn't take but a moment for the kind man to realize that the boy was cold. He reached down and took the boy's hand, helping him to get to his feet - which only made the boy shiver more since he was no longer curled up on himself.

     Keeping the boy's hand in his, he reached down and picked up the small suitcase that was propped next to the boy. As he did so, a white envelope was exposed lying against the wall. The man stooped down and picked up the envelope, then regained his hold on the suitcase and led the boy into the church.

     First things first, the priest led the boy to the back of the chapel and through several hallways until they arrived at a door leading back outside to a lovely, well-maintained garden with a gate leading through an open area to a second, larger building.

     Guiding the boy through the gate, the priest entered a door into the larger building, calling urgently for someone named Daniel to come assist him. A short, jovial man appeared within moments; curiosity reflected in his warm brown eyes; eyes that filled with curiosity at sight of the priest with a small, cold little boy.

     The man led them to a room filled with a series of benches down the middle with several doors and openings leading off of it. Through the opening on the one side, the boy saw a rows of showers along the wall, with a row of low sinks along the opposite side. The boy noticed that the sinks were low enough he could easily reach them without a stepping-stool.   

     Through the other opening there was a row of urinals along one side and a row of stalls with doors along the other - the boy didn't know what the urinals were, or what they were for. He'd never been in a place like this before.