𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄 ▪︎ [𝘋𝘜𝘛𝘠 𝘈𝘍𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘚𝘊𝘏𝘖𝘖𝘓]

ꜱɪx

∞ 𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄∞

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"I knew something was up." They sat at the table, eating their dinner several hours after finding out about the operation, but no one had an appetite. 
"I asked the other kids and they said we're going first because we're the largest group."
"This is so annoying. Who made a fuss about being discharged?"
"I really can't believe it, man. I really thought the Lieutenant cared about us, after all that we've been through together. Turns out he's really an ass." Chae-Yeong slammed her chopsticks on the table. Everyone looked at her, startled.
"Do you really think this was his doing? He went back there to save the rest of you, he stole a goddamn car and risked being executed for you. And that's how you pay him back? Really? Talking behind his back will do no good, if you want to say something about him, say it in his face. You're pathetic." She looked at them with disgust, shame showing on their faces. She got up from the table and walked away without finishing her meal.

She let out a huff as she resisted the urge to scream and break something. She knew it was hard for the kids, even harder than it was for her, but she couldn't listen to their nonsense without saying anything. Chun-Ho did nothing wrong, she knew the order came from his superiors. She saw it on his face as he was sharing the news with the kids, the anger and the fear and the shame all mixed. Even if he did expect it, there was nothing that could prepare you for such news. Nothing to prepare you for sending some kids to face death again after just a few days they escaped from it. Watching the war as it destroyed everything that you love was tough, but fighting in it, being there to experience it all, to suffer it all, to feel every emotion all at once and not be able to show them, it was even tougher. It was squeezing the life out of you, leaving you empty inside, a heart that kept on beating just to keep you from dying. 

Chae-Yeong headed to the quietest place in the whole camp. She didn't know why she found comfort in watching the corpses laid on the ground. Maybe it reminded her that she is still alive, it reminded her that her heart was still beating and she was still breathing. 

Or maybe she was just insane. Just like everyone else in this world. 

She approached the figure standing by the wall, eyes closed. He was just... existing. She called him, but he was too lost in his thoughts to hear her. She put a hand on his arm. Startled, he gripped her wrist, shoving it away. Chae-Yeong hasn't seen Chun-Ho since the meeting. He disappeared after that, avoiding her and the kids. She saw that all in his eyes, fixated on her face as he slowly loosened his grip, but not yet letting go. 

"Are you ok?" she asked her.
"I will be. This whole thing is driving me crazy. I was supposed to protect them and I failed."
"You didn't fail, Chun-Ho. No one saw it coming."
"But I could've. And I didn't." He kicked a barrel as he cursed. "How the hell am I supposed to face them now? They surely hate me and I can't really blame them, they thought they were going back to their families after all this and now I just ruined their dreams."
"Chun-Ho, look at me." She put her hands on his chest, holding him into place. "You are the most caring person I have ever met. You sacrificed yourself several times for the safety of these kids, you are the reason they are still alive and not there." She pointed to the corpses. "You are the reason why I am still alive. Stop blaming yourself for these things. You are the last to be blamed in this situation. You care for these kids and it shows right this moment. There is no moment where you do not worry about them and I assure you they are grateful." He sat in silence, watching her, listening to her as she put her hands on his shoulders and hugged him. After a moment, he hugged her back, burying his face in the crook of her neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes that felt like a few hours for her before finally saying: "We'll figure it out. Together." He hesitatingly let her go and looked at her. She hadn't felt that cold and lonely for a long time.
"Thank you. I needed this."
"Do you want to go and see how the kids are doing?" He nodded as they left the corpses behind, making their way toward the kids.