Chasing the Stars {Jamie Benn}

Fourteen

// Again, I posted the song that inspires this whole chapter to the side. I recommend listening while reading to get the "full effect." //

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Renegade - noun - a person who deserts a party or cause for another

I woke up to the sound of a soft guitar song playing in the living room. Jamie's bed was empty, and I assumed he was out there. I pulled the covers back, and I realized I was wearing one of Jamie's oversized t-shirts.

I slowly wandered out into the living room. Jamie was mouthing the words to the song, and it was vaguely familiar to me. His head rocked from one side to another as the chorus picked up.

"Jamie?" I questioned with a grin. "Did you undress me?"

"Oh, shit," he said, quickly turning to face him. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Well?"

"I put the shirt on first, then I undid the ties of your top. I left the bottoms on," he explained. "I definitely didn't see anything, and I wasn't about to take off the bottoms."

Despite the many rumors I'd heard about Jamie Benn being a playboy and a "man whore", I believed that he was one hell of a gentleman.

"Such a gentleman," I teased, walking over to the kitchen counter. "What is this song?"

"Renegades by X Ambassadors," he replied with a grin. "It's my favorite right now, reminds me of this, us."

"How?" I questioned, my eyebrows pulling together. He smiled and hit the replay song button so it would play over and over.

"Just listen to the lyrics," he told me, folding his arms over his chest as I listened.

Run away with me
Lost souls in revelry
Running wild, Running free
Two kids, you and me
And I say hey, hey, hey, hey
Living like we're renegades

After hearing the full song, I wanted to get into Jamie's head.

"How does this remind you of us?" I answered as the song replayed itself.

"Well, we kind of ran away from your hometown to take this random road trip. I like to think that we're all lost souls, searching for that one thing, or that one person to find us and make us not lost," he explained. Seeing the deep side of Jamie really, really intrigued me. "Plus, we're both kind of wild," he added with a wink.

"So you're kind of pretending we're on the run?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"It's not pretend," he replied. "We, as humans, feel the need to get away from the things that hurt us, and here we are, running away from Dallas and Plymouth because it's what you needed. We're both trying to run away from our feelings. So, no, it's not pretend."

"What're you running away from?" I asked. "You didn't get cheated on."

"Shit, Eleanor, do you think I'm not upset about what happened?" he asked, his voice turning harsh and gravelly. "Do you really think that it didn't fucking kill me to watch as your whole life fell apart? Because it did. It fucking killed me."

I stood silent for a moment, processing his words. I guess I had never really thought about what that did to Jamie.

People get selfish when bad things happen to them. They sink back, they self-pity. I had always disliked those who became selfish when negative things occurred, yet I was becoming one of them. I couldn't let that happen. Not to me.

"Jamie?" I called quietly. He looked up from the floor.

"Yes?"

His voice was soft once again, and I thanked God for that.