He's living his dream as a professional gamer.
She's building on her dream as a designer.
Life sometimes interrupts their friendship, but when they're together, she is the clearest view of his vision. Life no longer becomes an interruption, but a...
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𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐏𝐎𝐕
As much as I yearn for Bells, I can't allow her to see the needy side of me. The side of me which draws her on any scratch paper I come across, or writes her name next to mine to revel in the closeness of her near me. No, I can't allow it.
So what do I do? I go out on dates, and I may have someone I keep close for reasons I won't disclose. Don't get me wrong, I do care for her, the one I'm dating, but she's not Bells.
Bells respects my dating relationships. It's the reason she hasn't thought of me in another other way. And why would she? She has her boyfriend, so why would she suspect I like her beyond a friendship? Why should she know how much I love her?
But she has to know on some level, right?
I sip the remnants of my coffee, sighing as she walks out of the coffeeshop. Checking the time on my watch, I realize I'm supposed to meet Taehyung and Jin for a gaming collab. It's kinda hard to focus on gaming when she's on my mind. But gaming is my job, so I have to.
The girl I'm seeing texts me as I'm making way over to Jin's. She made plans for dinner and I agreed to them. We've been talking for about three months now. She's nice and all, but she's a little unsettled.
I get it, everyone isn't stable in their mid to late twenties. There is a lot of shit we are still figuring out. I guess I'm lucky my streaming took off and I've won tournaments, made my first million and built a career off something I love doing. But this girl, I don't know if she has a clue about anything of the world.
However, she's kindhearted, and our intimate times are okay at best. As much as I don't like to think of her this way, she's a stand in for what I desire, but I try not to treat her as such. My guilt overwhelms me when I'm around her, and it causes me to be overly nice to her. She's mentioned it, always noticing when I'm being sweeter than usual, and I laugh it off. Truth it, it massages the pain of not having Bellamy next to me.
My phone beeps again and this time its Bells, sending me a photo of a Louis Vuitton jacket I could afford, but wouldn't buy. She tags it, saying, "this would look fire on you." I grin and reply with the laughing emoji and said, "not my style, Bells." She teases me about my basic style all the time.
It only takes a second for me to fall down a rabbit hole of everything Bellamy—-our good times, our game times. We never argue about anything, at least not anything serious. I don't talk about girls with her and she doesn't mention her boyfriend.
Note to self—-See if you can get Bells to mention her boyfriend more.
I can care less about what they do (I'm lying, of course) but I'm curious about why she doesn't talk about him, at least as of lately. When we first met, she made it known she's taken, but now, I barely hear a peep about them. Why is this?
I can sit here and speculate all I want, make up something to help me sleep at night, but I want the truth. Is he mistreating her? Are they having problems?
He's probably so perfect words wouldn't be enough. Ugh... But she deserves perfect—-only my perfect. Double ugh...
I don't want to think about this, but I would like to play with my friend tonight. I hope she's free. If she is, perhaps I could get her to tell me more.
