Ａｌｍｏｓｔ Ｙｏｕ

chapter 24: hope

We arrived back in London at about midday. Maddy seemed distracted the entire ride back and I couldn't help but wish I would have convinced her to stay in Paris one more day. The night prior had been rough as we laid in bed together.

—

I dug my fingers softly into the nape of her neck, pulling her tightly against me as I kissed her. I knew she had been in a lot of pain lately, I knew sex wasn't in the book for us at the moment. I missed her that way. The feeling of being that close, but I loved her enough where this was all I truly needed.

She let me kiss down her neck, biting at her collarbone, my favorite bit of her and I know she knew it. I kissed back up to her lips, until she pulled away, taking in a deep breath.

"God, even getting excited feels painful baby." She whispered softly, her face scrunched up slightly from pain and frustration. I leaned my head in, kissing her face gently, her cheeks and her nose.

"We can take a break. I don't need anything but being right here next to you." I whispered, her face gently between my two hands.

"But I want more, I want to be close to you that way. Have you make me feel how I know you can. I want to be so intimate with you, now that I love you this way." She said, tears pooling in her eyes.

"Baby, we can be intimate in different ways. Sex isn't the only way. And we don't have to get so carried away. I just wan—it's not about what you want Harry. It's what I want."

She interrupted me, her voice slightly raised, and soon she just cried. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me, understanding what she was going through. I traced my fingers on her back softly, kissing her nose.

—

I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together as we walked up the walkway to my door. We made our way in the house. Once we were inside, she turned to her mum, taking a sleeping Rosie from her arms.

"Mom, I just want rest, okay? Go explore, please, for me? Send me pictures, and describe all the food and sweets, please?" She said, her eyes tired, as she pushed Rosie up higher on her hip.

"Okay. Okay sweet girl. I'm just going to freshen up, you go rest." Greta smiled at her, looking over at me with worried eyes.

Greta excused herself upstairs and when she was gone, I attempted to take Rosie from her but she pulled away.

"I can do it." She said, and swallowed, making her way over to the bedroom. I nodded and followed close behind. She walked into the bedroom, leaning over and placing her in the middle of the bed. When she tried to get up she winced, buckling forward a bit and I quickly was by her side. I held her by her waist

"Hey, hey, easy, let's get you laid down. Come on baby." I said. I helped her straighten up a bit so she could turn and lay down. She peeked at me with sadness in her eyes and I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Here, let me get in." I walked around and laid down on my side of the bed. I scoot close to her and Rosie, reaching over to Maddy, running my fingers softly through her hair.

She bit her lip and cried softly, "Harry."

"Yeah baby." I whispered.

"I went to a specialist in Paris, the day I went dress shopping." She said, wiping her tears, and I didn't know what to do or say. I didn't know how to react.

"You...what?"

"And she rushed the labs for me, in the case I needed to go back....but..." she shook her head.