Loved You In Another Life // A Skephalo Story

Chapter 20

Badboyhalo POV

'I love you.'

His voice echoes through my ears as I replay the voice clip over and over again.

Of course, even after weeks of us each ignoring the other, each pretending we were never friends, I never forgot about Skeppy, never once stopped thinking about him.

The distance between us didn't do any good anyway, Quackity has mentioned almost every day this week how sad I look, how tired I've been acting, despite me sleeping long hours every night.

I guess I've noticed it too, the fact that I have no motivation and the much too obvious tears that streak my face when I see the flowers I haven't bothered to take from my bedside table, despite most of them being dead.

Fact is, I can't forget Skeppy because no matter how much I push the feeling down, deny them to the max, they're still there, and they're not going away.

And I during this entire separation, I thought, hoped almost, that Skeppy would forget about me.

Of course, a selfish part of me will always want to be his first priority, always want to be on his mind and be the only one he sees. Yet as much as I want that, it hurts much more to be practically ghosting him while still catching a yearning glance each and every day, a look of desperate longing that I know will only hurt him.

In the end though, I can't bear to hurt him any longer.

Yes, I made a promise to myself, literally went through hell and back because of him, cried myself to sleep and regretted everything while still sticking to my word. All for me to throw it away because of a measly message Skeppy just had to send me, all because of the same three words that can't stop repeating themselves over and over.

And maybe I am blinded by love, but isn't that the best reason to be blind?

Looking back on my stupid decisions, there isn't really a logical reason to ignore Skeppy. After all, we're just friends and that's all we ever have been. My idea of cheating on someone I don't even know is entirely dependent on me and if I choose to try something with Skeppy.

It's hard, but I have to accept that I'll probably never see Zak again, and that I can either choose to be alone forever or try my chances with Skeppy.

It won't work to have a relationship either way, so I want to tell myself not to try, yet I want us to be something so badly.

That is, if he's still willing to be my friend. Yes, he said he loves me only a few short hours ago, but that can easily be a farewell message. A last confession before I show up to work, only to find a new angel in his place.

He wouldn't do that, I tell myself. He wouldn't leave me and leave both of us heartbroken.

But that's exactly what I did. I backed away and shattered us both, for no good reason other than my own stupidity.

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Admittedly, I swore to myself not to talk to Quackity about my problems with Skeppy again, but in my desperate state, I just need someone to listen to me, let me pour my heart onto them. And Quackity happens to be the only friend I have.

Despite it being the middle of the night, he comes over as soon as I ask, an understanding smile on his face and a look of rapt attention.

"I'm always here for you." He says, a comforting hand on my shoulder. "What's up?"

"I think- I think I made a mistake." I choke out, feeling sick.

"Why? What happened?"

"I told you how I was done with Skeppy, and I said I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, but," I clear my throat, willing myself to sink into the couch. "But I can't do it, he said something and I...I can't keep this up, Quackity it's hurting him. It's hurting me."