Unwanted Mate

Chapter 18

Kyle didn't mean to come home drunk. But does anyone really ever plan on that? He'd simply lost track of time and lost count. He was too busy thinking. He had a plan to formulate. So while he sat alone in the booth, the cheap plastic seats squeaking when he moved he played with the cardboard coster and thought. Normally the waitresses would be annoyed that he was camped out in a booth, serving one when she could be serving a group. But with each drink, he handed her a ten and made it worth her time. He was buying solitude, cause he knew the minute he walked through the damn door at home Gina would be in his face. He could count the ways she would be angry. One he was late, two he missed dinner, three he was drunk, four he went out without her, and five... he couldn't think of any more at the moment, But there WOULD be more. She just didn't get it. He didn't want her. It was that thought that told him he was done. he needed to leave before he got angry. Throwing back the last of the rum and coke he pulled a couple of twenties out of his wallet and threw them on the table. Stumbling slightly he walked out of the door. The cool evening night greeting him. The moon called to his wolf. He tried to shift, but when that failed he settled for stumbling home. At least he was smart enough not to drive. Should he be busted with a DUI on public grounds or pack grounds it could jeopardize his job and then where would he be?  

His mind twirled over the ideas he entertained, he was certain poison was his only choice. He counted the number of undetectable tinctures he could sneak into her drink. Should foul play be suspected he would be expected to execute revenge. The act called for more time than he cared to waste. He knew he would have to play the part of a grieving mate. He made a mental note to secure himself some pain meds, he wasn't ignorant, the breaking of the bond would cause him real pain. 

His house was dark when he approached, the lone light glowing from around the bedroom curtains. He watched the light flicker in intensity and color. He knew she was up waiting for him. Sitting in bed watching late-night television. 

"Where were you?" 

"What the? Damn! You scared the crap out of me babe." Kyle said shocked to find her standing in the dark kitchen. He hadn't seen her still he flipped on the light.  She'd clearly been waiting for him.

"Where were you?" She repeated her question her voice quivering. Her arms folded angrily across her chest. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from crying, but unnoticeable to a passerby. She tried to hide her pain so well. She hadn't told anyone about how Kyle was acting. She hid her jealousy when her friends talked about their mates. 

"I was out."

"Out where?" She pressed.

"At Ruby's," Kyle answered, not bothering to lie, enough people had seen him there. He kicked his shoes off and took off his jacket haning on the hook near the back door. Shit he thought he'd forgot his briefcase in his car, oh well it was too late to go back.

"Why?" Kyle sighed, did she need to question him every time he walked in the door? 

"Because I wanted to be." He said coldly, opening the fridge hoping there was a quick bite he could grab, something to help soak up the liquor. 

"What does that mean?" Gina asked. When he didn't answer her she walked over and pushed the refrigerator door closed. Fuck him. He could look her in the eye at least. 

"Gina, get out of my face," Kyle warned her. Gina could smell the liquor on his breath. He was pathetic. She hated this side of him. 

"Answer me!" 

"It means I wanted to be there," Kyle shouted at her pushing her back, "It means I didn't want to be here." Kyle stepped forward and pushed her back again. Gina found herself against the hallway wall. 

"It means I didn't want to be with you," Kyle said standing nose to nose with her. He was sick of her, he hated how she made him feel. He hated that his wolf wanted her. Fuck this mate thing. He didn't want a mate, he wanted power. He wanted to be an Alpha. Tears were streaming down Gina's face, his words just another version of the drunken anger he always directed at her. 

Gina tried to be a good mate but she wasn't nearly as stupid as he thought she was. His drunken words spoke the truth that his sober self apologized for. She was tired of the same excuses and just wanted change. She was worth more than this. She stilled her frame as he yelled angry degrading words in her face his hot breath rancid to her senses, she raised a hand to wipe the warm spittle off her face. She was done. She waited till he fell into a drunken sleep across the sofa, and this was only after he had yelled himself into exhaustion, and not until he had slapped her, proud of himself for making her cry. Gina had quietly picked up the broken glass in the kitchen as he fell into slumber. Heading upstairs to the room they shared. The room she had hoped would be their sanctuary where they would find peace from the world in each other. She glanced around the empty room, the bed where she slept more often alone than with him. She swallowed the anger that bubbled up her throat and threatened to tear out of her, violently she packed a bag, taking the money she'd removed from their joint account earlier. She dressed quickly, eager to leave, without worrying if he heard her she slipped out the very door he'd come in. She knew he walked home, but she didn't care, she had the spare key. She'd walk to the bar and take the car. 

Gina's wolf whined as she walked creating distance from her mate. Her wolf was hurt. They weren't meant to live alone. A lone wolf was a dead wolf. She would die if she'd stayed, Gina rationalized. Her heart had broken a little bit every day, her soul dampened every night he left her alone. Her body weakened from the rejection. The night was dark the moon seemed to hide from her, the Goddess allowing her to wade through her own grief with every step. 

Their car was where she expected. Without glancing around Gina opened the door and started the engine, thankful it at least had a full tank of gas. She felt guilty knowing the shame she was leaving her mate to navigate, but it would be less shame than her speaking out. She thought, maybe. She wasn't even sure anyone would have believed her, it was always there the fear that everything would be her fault. As if she wanted this, asked for it, even deserved it. She had no faith that her Alpha would secure her safety. This WAS the best choice, leaving before anyone could stop her. 

She'd been on the road twenty minutes before she'd noticed his briefcase, worried he could track her through his Ipad, she fumbled grabbing the leather case and rolling down the window, shaking her hair from her face, she tossed the case as far from the speeding car as she could. The night sky prevented her from seeing it crash into the ditch in the review mirror. 

Gina had no idea where the road would take her. No idea where she would stop. All she knew was that she would drive until the pain stopped. She would drive till the bond was so weakened she wouldn't be able to feel his rage when he awoke. Shuddering slightly, Gina pressed her foot to the peddle and watched the needle creep higher. Time, that was what she needed. A night was all she had.