Vice

Thirty Eight

:) sorry this one took a while. It's a little confusing so take your time with it.

There are two flash forewards that jump a few hours a head so if you get confused, make sure you noticed the ****....**** indications.

Enjoy:)

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There are two things people never get used to. Danger and death. No matter how many times a soldier enters the battle field, stands in a rain of bullets, and faces the possible end; a bundle of nerves will always sit comfortably in the pit of their stomach as soon as their finger wraps around the trigger or a bullet whizzes inches away from their head.

To Thea this concept was very similar to that of death. After losing her mother, sister, and twin brother, she thought she would be used to death. She hoped she would be used to it, numb to the sight of dead bodies and blood strewn across the walls.

But it's not true. You never get used to the pain of seeing someone else suffer, and anyone who says otherwise is just in the midst of their torment. As soon as that numbness fades away, a torrent of agony takes it place.

Yet in a way she was numb. Walking through the halls of the whore house, the walls painted red with blood, she didn't blink, didn't gag. On the surface she was calm.

But on the inside she was dying. With each body she felt their pain. Pausing she knelt next to the head of a woman whose body was still warm. She had died earlier that day. Her end? A brutal beating. Her waist to her toes were bare, it was hard not to grimace at her mutilated body. Her skirt lay in shreds next to her bruised and broken body. Thea covered the woman's lower half.

She could imagine the laugh of her ex gang member in her head.

Just a whore. A worthless whore.

She stood and continued down the hallway.

***A few hours earlier***

Thea frowned at the other girl, "Does James know?"

Lottie and Thea sat on the bed in Lottie's new room. The apartment James had bought for them was larger than Thea had expected. Much larger. Packed with enough rooms for all of them, and then some. The view of the center of New York from the penthouse was breathtaking.

Lottie was hugging her knees to her chest and looking at her from underneath a curtain of hair. Thea had never seen her look so timid.

"That I haven't killed anyone?" Lottie shook her head and hid her face. "Every time I've gone out with them, the boys have dealt with it. I've fought people of course, but only enough to defend myself. Trevor knows of course." Despite herself a small smile crept onto her face. "But James and Ryder don't know."

Thea sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes settled on the floor boards, "You don't have to be ashamed of that." She turned, folding one knee onto the bed.

Lottie's eyes widened and she let go of her knees, letting them fall into a cross legged position, "So you're not mad?"

"Why would I be?"

She knotted her fingers in her lap, "Because I haven't contributed, I've let you guys do the work."

Thea frowned again, "There are other things that need to be done than killing people. Without you, we never would have been able to plan for today. And you've put yourself in the same danger as the rest of us. You are still out there risking your life."

A relieved expression came over the girls face but it quickly disappeared.

"James will never see it that way."