At first sight, 'til last breath [ Stray Kids | Bang Chan ]

[ E L E V E N ]

IM AYEONG'S POV:

"It's for you."

"For me?", I ask.

"Yeah...", he takes a second to smile brighter than before."...for you."

"Why would you?...", I mumble.

"Just take it, will you?", he starts the car, driving it away.

__________

"Hey, Ayeong.", I hear Chan call me from behind.

I turn around, facing the building I came out of.

"You still didn't take the paper bag out of my car.", he pouts."Are you planning on coming along with me today as well?", he teases.

"Well, I forgot. Though, Chan. I can't accept it. It's too much. One or two products would've been fine but you literally just bought the whole store.", I narrow my eyes at him.

"Nothing is worth more than you. I didn't even buy the whole store. It's just a few things. Just take it as a thank you. I'm gonna go get it.", he runs off to his car to get the paper bag.

A thank you for what? Did I do something to please him? I don't remember. Was it when I was drunk? Oh, damn. I'm getting reminded of that night. What even happened?

I wait for him as I don't want him to return and be depressed about how I left him. How I shattered his feelings for the gift he was giving me.

"Here.", Chan runs up to me, catching his breath.

"Thanks.", I smile, shamefully.

"No, thank you.", he smiles, showing his dimple.

"Why me?", I slightly tilt my head in confusion.

"Because, you.", he winks and walks away.

What a weird guy he is. I don't even know what he'd be scheming the very moment. I have to be prepared for his nonsense everytime I'm with him, eh? He's cute so it's totally worth it.

"Where were you?", Joochan jumps in front of me, bending slightly so his face was centimeters away from mine. I blushed at his sudden appearance.

"At work.", I point at the back with my thumb, flustered at his face being only centimeters away from mine. Sure, we've been together for a while now but I still can't get used to this opposite sex interactions, basically I never even talked to any boy in my high school years, except Joochan, of course. It's kind of hard for me to keep my calm when I'm with a boy around my age. I know it's wrong even though I have Joochan but it just can't be helped, right? Like, is it my fault that I start to sweat and my heart starts to beat when I talk to a boy?

(A/N: shout out to me.)

"Yesterday?", he asks, moving a bit more closer to my face, reducing the number of distance by two centimeters or something.

"At work.", I look at the ground and nod.

"Did you work all night?", he slightly furrows his eyebrows.

"Oh, that!", I yell."No. My friend invited me to a drink and I don't remember what happened to me after that.", I mumble, scared as if I committed a crime.

"Where did you find yourself in the morning?", he asks.

"At Chan's...", I stop as I think that I found myself in his bed, lying beside him.

"At his?", Joochan gestures for me to continue.

"House.", I lie. I know it's bad to lie about that but it wasn't how it seems like. He might think that I did all that stuff with Chan since I found myself in his bed but that's wrong. I believe in Chan and myself. We might've been in the same bed but that doesn't mean we did anything wrong. Plus, I was technically in his house so I'm not really lying.

"Hm. Sure.", he turns around, his back facing me.

Does he not believe me? I barely ever got a chance to interact with the opposite sex that I never figured what kind of boyfriend Joochan could've been.

"Are you mad?", I reluctantly ask.

"No. Why would I be mad?", he shrugs his shoulders not turning around.

I walk towards him to close the small distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back.

"I'm sorry. I promise I didn't do anything.", I mumble and pout.

"Ayeong. I'm not doubting you nor your love. I'm worried that guy might've...", he stops as he realizes what he was about to say. He stopped since he knows how much I adore Chan. I giggle at him. He turns around and looks at me confused, wrapping his hands around my back.

"Chan isn't like that. I promise.", I reassure him with a smile.

"I love you so much.", he caressess my cheek.

"I do more.", I scrunch my nose and stick my tongue out at him.

"Let's go."

We start our walk back home, with his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist.

"Hey, Ayeong. You know it's soon time for us to go.", he says which makes my smile suddenly disappear.

"Aren't you happy?", he asks after observing my reaction. He knows how much I want to be with him, alone. How much I want to live a better life than right now. Though, I'm still scared. About life. Whenever you're happy, you have to pay the price for it. Here I'm going to be changing my whole life and I fear the price I'll have to pay. To be more exact, in what form. I'm fine as long as I have Joochan but what if...

I shake the bad thoughts off.

"You know how I feel. I'm just a bit scared.", I look anywhere but at him.

"Don't worry.", I can tell he's smiling by the tone of his voice.

"Hm."

I might be worried about living alone with him, alone as adults. But the thing I'm more afraid about is Chan. I haven't told him about my plan and I'm scared he might find it offending. I don't know what I'm thinking. Why would he find it offending? Is he my grandma or my mom? What an idiot I am.

I fear what he might feel. Fear that he might fear me. I know it's an unnecessary stress but it's just there. I can't get rid of it nor fix it. Maybe I can fix it by telling him the truth.

What if I just live with Joochan without even having to tell Chan? It's not like he'd visit my house, right? Of course, it isn't like that. Of course, I can just keep this from him and he won't even be able to find out. Ever. Of course, it'd be easy to hide this since he wouldn't even care nor ask.

But why can't I do that? Why can't my heart agree with me? I can't help the feeling that bursts out of my heart and into my veins telling me to tell him about everything that's going to happen. Why would my heart act this way when there's no freaking reason for me to tell Chan about this? There's no reason. But my heart. It won't rest easy unless Chan is informed about this. Is something... dangerous waiting for me?

My heart screams for me to tell Chan about me running away with Joochan.

My brain tells me otherwise, that what is the need of it when Chan isn't even the most important nor the least important in my life.

He's just there, existing for me to only make me happy.

He can't do anything else.

__________

A/N: lmao when I wrote 'No, thank you.' as Chan saying it, I got reminded of something. I had this friend online and we were like kind of appreciating each other and then she was like thank u and I replied with no thanks to you. ㅠ-ㅠ should've put a , after no. She was like oh sorry. And then I had to apologize💀 Also be grateful that I wrote this. It's like 10:15 and I'm supposed to be doing my homework 👀