At first sight, 'til last breath [ Stray Kids | Bang Chan ]

[ E I G H T E E N ]

THIRD PERSON'S POV:

"Do you like it?", Chan asked as they were walking on the wet sand of the beach. Since it was still early morning, the break of the dawn, no one was at the beach.

"Yeah.", Ayeong whispered and smiled, looking at her feet as they walked. The thoughts about Joochan were still on her mind. Of course, they were. You can't forget something so tragic all of a sudden.

"No.", Ayeong looked down, holding the hem of her shirt tightly as tears dropped on the wet sand from her eyes.

"I'm not fine.", she said to herself.

It was like she was having a whole conversation with herself, telling herself that she's fine but suddenly realizing that she's not fine.

"I know. It's hard for you.", Chan slid his arm over her shoulder, side hugging her.

"Ayeong, I'm here for you.", he slightly bended and looked at her face. He found a face full of depression and anxiety, fear and sadness.

"What do I do?", she started to sob, once again.

"Nothing. Just let it all out, eventually you'll get better. It's okay to cry.", he gently patted her back.

She crouched down, hugging her knees and resting her head on her arms. Chan kneeled down beside her. She wasn't planning on enjoying the beautiful view of the sea and Chan also didn't bring her there for that. She had to let it all out and let it all go. She was there to rest, alone. Or with Chan.

"I wasn't right, was I?", Ayeong mumbled to herself.

"You probably weren't wrong either.", Chan looked at the sea.

"Sure.", she whispered."Where do I go now?", she turned to Chan.

"Home.", he casually said.

"Home?", she tilted her head."Whose home?"

"My home. But for now, your's too.", he didn't take his eyes off of the sea.

"Are you sure about it? There's already too much gossip at office about us-", she stopped as she realized that Chan didn't know about it. He'd be mad if he found out and probably fire half the employees.

"Gossip about us?", he looked at Ayeong.

"Yeah. Um. How we're like best friends and all.", she lied.

"Oh.", Chan was rather disappointed.

"L-let's just go.", Ayeong got up and ran off the beach, towards the parking lot as she was too bothered by their recent conversation.

"Oi, wait for me!", Chan yelled as he ran after her.

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"You don't have to go.", Chan patted Ayeong's head.

She liked the feeling of his warm hand, his warm body, his warm personality. She felt relieved to see him, to be with him. He brought so much joy to her, yet she's fearing. After all, Joochan was also like this and then he snapped. She fears that Chan would also...

"You can rest easy, Ayeong.", he leaned closer towards her face making her look at him.

They stared at each other for a good five minutes before Ayeong broke the eye contact.

"I-I'm sorry.", she quickly got up and walked away to her room that Chan showed her to.

Chan didn't move from his position. He was sad that she broke the eye contact but he also wanted to give her time and space. She went through a lot and recently too. She has to rest.

A few weeks had passed and Ayeong was still living with Chan. She was guilty for living there for free. Not that Chan ever said anything to her that would make her think that way, she just didn't like the fact that she's living at someone's house without even doing anything for them.

These past few weeks were quiet between them. They'd either say 'hi' or 'goodnight' to each other and wouldn't utter another word.

She was sad for being like this when living in his house but that still couldn't change the fact that she was depressed.

"I'm also here.", Chan said to her as they both stood in the hallway of his house.

'I'm also here' means 'I'm also here'. But for them, it meant something else.

"Chan.", Ayeong mumbled, unable to form the right words."I can't just say that I like you just because you helped me overcome my worries. You helped me a lot. If I were to say I like you to make you happy, it won't be real. You won't be able to feel the love you're supposed to. I can't do this Chan. I-"

"I'll wait. I'll wait as long as you're ready. Not ready to be in a relationship. Be ready to be with me.", his eyes looked hurt. Still, he didn't want to push her.

"I'm sorry. I'll only end up hurting you.", she's lying. She's worried about getting herself hurt. She doesn't want to lose the Chan that's with her right now. She fears that he'll change into something else as well, like Joochan.

"I don't care. As long as I'm with you, I'm only hurting. I like it. I like the way it hurts. So, don't worry about hurting me.", he didn't know that he was only making Ayeong feel guilty.

"Chan, please. I'm not good enough for you.", she lowered her head in guilt.

"I won't do it, Ayeong. I'll give you time to believe in me. I won't do it.", he shook his head lightly. It was as if he was reading Ayeong's mind since he was basically answering the questions she was thinking about. What is it that he won't do? What Joochan did.

"I'll do it. I'm a monster. I'll hurt you. I don't care about anything and I only hurt people. You know why I'm here? I'm here to live rent free in your house. I'm here to live a luxury life without even having to pay for anything.", she yelled. She made it seem like she was living there for her own advantages.

"Sure. Be like that. It's all for you.", he answered what wasn't a question.

"It's not for me.", she yelled at him as she took a step closer towards him.

"It's for you, Ayeong. All for you. What's in front of you is also all for you.", he didn't move or was bothered by her mood. He looked at her with pity even when he didn't want to.

"Chan, stop. I don't love you like that.", Ayeong looked back at him with pity.

"I do.", he briefly said.

"Chan, stop being like this."

"I can't. It's your fault."

That very moment, to Ayeong, Chan looked like a lost kid. It seemed like he wasn't in his right mind. He was too much blinded by love when he barely knows the real part of the girl. Not that she actually has another personality other the one that he knows, but still.

You don't know anything about anyone and you can't just judge them based on what they've shown you.

Sure, he loves her but that doesn't mean he should forget to do anything for himself and only care about the girl.

But for him, she was his life...

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A/N: Bro. Sometimes my English is like so amazing like sometimes I love the way I wrote the whole chapter and then sometimes it's like ew. Idk what to write next. Help 💀

Bro how do people forget that it's their birthday the day it's their birthday. And they get like surprises from other people and realize that it was their birthday. Like I force my mum to get smthn to eat 💀 I ain't forgetting it like hell no. I can't forget abt it even if I want to