Leaves, Seasons, and Dead Trees (BxB)

1. - Everest

"Once I was a rich man, now I am so poor.
But never in my sweet short life have I felt like this before."

- "No Expectations" by The Rolling Stones -

*****

Samuel

It is my wildest dream to be accepted into college.

Yet here I am, this early morning, laying on my dorm room bed, with my phone alarm jolting me awake precisely at 6:35 AM. The excitement of the first day of college courses through my veins, refusing to be contained, even though I'm well aware of my introverted nature and the challenge of navigating through a sea of unfamiliar faces.

However, as the morning sun casts its warm glow upon my room, a wave of lethargy washes over me, dampening my initial excitement. I can't decipher if it is my disdain for the scorching sun or the residue of my solitary mornings back in Missouri that makes me perceive mornings with indifference, robbing them of their potential beauty.

Perhaps, deep down, a part of me resents the notion of productivity, despite the prestigious AEC scholarship I've been awarded. Even in the esteemed halls of Hoovensguaard University, a sanctuary for the wealthy, I take pride in earning my place. Two gap years were all it took to secure this opportunity, and I believe I've earned it.

After all, don't I deserve to leave my old life behind? To move forward from my past and finally take control of my own decisions? To come to terms with what happened to me in high school? To finally live my own life?

To finally live a life?

"But I hate mornings," I grumble quietly, disregarding my previous self-affirmation. The thought of the cold water against my furs... I can't stand it.

Glancing to my left, I see my roommate Matty, a boisterously endearing Golden Retriever, still fast asleep inside the confines of his fluffy blanket, emitting soft snores. Summoning the little energy I have, I reluctantly get out of bed, rubbing my tired eyes and brushing away sleep remnants with my fingers, indifferent to where they land. I reach for my fully charged phone on the nightstand and turn off the backup alarms.

I am always hypersensitive to even the slightest noises when asleep, like when Matty returned last night and carefully opened the door, startling me awake. Hence, no matter how many alarms I set up the night before, only the first alarm will jolt me awake. When I googled it once upon a day, the answer ranged from "hypersensitivity to stimuli" to a simple "hypersensitivity." I declared it was because of the common door-slamming that has been happening at home since elementary.

Or maybe you're not "hyper" and just "sensitive", Sam.

Throwing my phone onto the bed, I put on my slippers and pour myself a glass of water from the kitchen sink. The metallic taste of the water makes me grimace and question its safety. Gathering my toiletries, I make my way down the hall to the communal bathroom, my steps clumsy and unsteady. A few people are heading in the same direction, although not as many as I expected. Reaching an empty stall, I enter and take my time showering under the unwelcoming cold water, even though I know the shower has hot water running. I believe subjecting myself to the frigid unforgiving temperature will keep me more alert throughout the day. Besides, I tend to get impulsive sleepiness.

Humming Vivaldi's "Spring" on repeat for what I assume almost twenty minutes, I finally finished my shower. Shaking off the water from my furs and drying off the remaining water with my towel, I head straight to my room. Opening the door, Matty is already engrossed in his phone, wearing a bemused smile, likely watching supposedly funny TickTock videos. I imagine an unpleasant odor emanating from his snout when he laughs.