24. Scars of the past

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My wife cries but doesn't look away from me. She isn't pitiful about all this and I am only grateful for that. My father looks ashamed. His head hangs low. I don't blame him. I don't hate him. If only he knew what Veera's father was like, he would know he is much better in that category. My mother cries in her hands. Her body moves as sobs break out of her. My brother simply stares at me. He stares as tears fall down his eyes silently. "What happened next?" My life took a 180 turn. That's what's happened.

"I found Maura working through the house and pulled her in. I remember how she once told me that she wanted a child but she never got married and stuff. So I pulled her into my room and I brought out Nara. I didn't tell Maura anything. I just said that Nara was sold by her father and now I've got her free. Maura took the girl in like her own. She wanted a child. And Nara needed a parent. It took that girl some time to trust and adjust but she did.

I knew dad would keep tabs on my expenses, so I went the person who wouldn't. Dadu didn't care how much I spent or what I did. He just loved me. He set me up a new account that dad didn't know about and I paid for Nara's education with it until she graduated. She was kind to me when no one else was, so I do everything I can to be kind to her." Veera let's a sob escape her. The guilt now creeping in. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know. And honestly Nara never felt hurt.

"My problem wasn't what those people did to me. My problem was what happened to me after. You didn't send me back to boarding school. You kept me in this house and ignored my mere existence. Especially you, mom." My mother breaks down again, not meeting my eyes. Atleast she knows that she was wrong.

"Tell me mom, when did you decide that I was the cause of all your problems?" She shakes her head, still crying. "I am sorry."

What am I supposed to do with that sorry? She seventeen years too late. I look at my family's confused faces and I tell them what they are missing. "After I came back, everyone was busy looking behind Lakshay. I get it. He was a traumatized kid. He needed attention but so did I. If he refused to eat, if he cried, it was because of his trauma. If I refused to eat, if I got frustrated, I was 'acting out'. No one tried to pay enough attention to see what I was going through.

I was almost beaten to death and my own mother didn't once come to see how I was. I know you miss your family mom. I know you hate that they disowned you because of everything. Because you got pregnant before marriage. But was it my fault? Was blaming me necessary? You never said it to my face but you've stayed away from me. Why?!" She flinches back at my loud voice and everyone else freezes. Atleast dad tried. Atleast he asked me what is wrong with me. I just couldn't bring myself to tell I was worried he might send me away. But I wanted my mother. The one who never bothered.

"All you saw in me were the wrong things. Lakshay looks like you and he was your favorite child. My fault is that I look like dad? That I remind you of the man you left everything for and then got left alone? Your broken marriage is not my fault! I came to you, a million times, just to seek comfort and you shooed me away like some dog. You always had time for Lakshay but not a moment for me."

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