Shadow Souls

Chapter Forty-Four

When we exit the bathroom, Finn is sitting on the hallway floor across from us. He stands up as soon as he sees me and he looks worried.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Everything's fine," we all three say in unison, yet neither Paige or Tyler can look at him. And even though Paige is the only one he can actually see, he definitely notices.

"Well, umm," Paige stammers, clearly uncomfortable, "I'm going to get to class," And then she is gone before we can even say bye.

Finn and I start walking to our classes too, and when he reaches down to hold my hand, it takes everything I have to hold back the tears.

"So, what's going on really?" he asks.

"Nothing," I try to smile and make it seem like everything is normal, "Just family stuff involving Paige. I can't really talk about it. You understand," I say squeezing his hand. He gives me a small smile and we walk to our locker in silence.

I try to avoid him as much as possible for the rest of the day, but that proved hard in English class since he sits right next to me. I pretended to be very focused on the lecture, hoping it will help lead up to my reasons for wanting space. I decided on using my grades and college acceptances as excuses, hoping it might help sell it better. Yet, when class is over Finn offers to drive me home and I'm unable to help myself. I say yes.

When we get there he wants to come in but this time I tell him no, claiming that I already made plans to study with Paige. I see his face fall and I know that he can sense something is wrong. The pain and worry in his eyes are hard to miss and it makes me start to waiver. I thought I could do this. I thought I could push all my feelings aside and keep my resolve. I can't.

I get out of the car and nearly run to door afraid that he will say something to stop me and right now, just the sound of his voice is probably enough to make me turn around. Luckily, I make it to the house and after I am safely inside, I let myself break.

"I'm so sorry Alice," Tyler says coming to sit next to me. He does his best to comfort, without being able to touch me, and I wish he knew how much just having him here at all helps.

We stay there for almost an hour, and I cry until the tears run dry. Neither of us getting up until Paige is knocking on the door. Tyler opens it for her, and when she enters, she is carrying an overstuffed yellow duffle bag.

"Come on Ali, we need to pack," she declares.

She helps pull me off the floor and leads me upstairs where she grabs an empty bag from the top of my closet. She starts pulling clothes off hangers and out of drawers, shoving them in without waiting for any confirmation from me.

"We'll leave tomorrow," she tells me. "I'm thinking around noon. If we are going on an epic quest, I need to be well rested, so no early morning adventures for us. Plus, we don't want anyone to see us driving out of town. Best to wait until everyone is at school."

She smiles over at me and I know she is trying to lighten the mood. I want to smile back, and let her know I appreciate it, but I just can't manage to.

"I still need to talk to Finn," I tell her. "I wasn't able to today."

"How are you going to do it?"

I hold up my phone and she gives me a sad smile. I know breaking up over text is harsh, and cowardly, but I can't do it face to face. I just can't.

Paige puts both of our bags into my closet, and tells me she will be back tomorrow, but not before making me promise to text her if I need anything. Then once she's gone, and knowing I can't put it off any longer, I prepare myself to write the hardest text I will ever have to send.