If You Don't (Fyodor X OC)

If You Dont

"𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍; 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑? 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍; 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Will it be painful?" I looked at him, standing at his side as I always was. It was the only place that felt right. Watching him write down every detail in that silly little book of his with steady hands - it was right. Even though my death and his were likely inevitable, this was where I was always meant to be. The world as I knew it made much more sense with him in it.

"I do not know, Milaya," he breathed out as he set his pen down. I didn't dare look at what he was writing. However this was meant to go, I didn't want to know. I didn't need to know. All I needed was him, looking at me like he was right now; so full of love and adoration. I could stare at him for hours without even blinking, drowning in the epitome of Fyodor. His eyes that held so much power. His soft hands that made me melt as they wrapped around me. The smell of musk and cologne as he held my head to his chest. The pounding of his heart, hammering away in my ears. The kindness and generosity he always gave, even if I didn't believe I deserved it. His strong arms carrying me to safety when I was drowning in madness. Everything he had done, he did it with purpose. With intent. With purity and the most raw form of empathy one could ever express.

Fyodor was a gentle man. A simple one. A beautiful one. He was a man so full of light, that I would find him anywhere. Wherever we went after this, I knew I would find him. Even with ears that did not work, I would still hear him call my name. My full name, as he always did. Nothing less. Even in blindness, I would still be able to see him smiling at me with those soft lips. The ones I would kiss forever. Even with my face torn from my skull, I would still know him anywhere. Recognize him. Cherish him. For there was no way I could possibly forget him.

His grip on the back of my head was strong, carrying the dread for the both of us. The dread of this being our end. Our demise. The final chapter in the story we didn't even realize we were writing. If I had picked that book up off a shelf, I would never put it down. There was no way either of could have known that things would turn out this way, but I doubt either of us carried regret.

No. I could never regret him. The way his lips tasted against mine, offering me his last goodbye. The way he held me carefully, as though I would slip from his grasp. I could never regret the moments we shared. The talks that ran deep into the night. The laughter we coaxed out of each other. The moments of silence where we shared our thoughts with our gazes alone. All the stolen looks, and the contemplation. All the trust we poured into the home we built for ourselves, healing each other with every brick. I could never regret loving him. Not in a million years. Not even in a hundred separate lifetimes.

"Anastasia," he whispered, holding me close. His body was tense and his hands trembled as he clutched the fabric of my dress, resting on my back.

I placed my palm against his cheek. "It's okay, Fyodor," I whispered back. I wasn't scared. I never could be when he was right here, always there to guide and protect me. He never once failed me.

"Wherever we end up, know that I will search for you. I will scour the edges of the earth if need be. No rock would be left unturned. I will search until I find you, for I will not rest until I do. You are my peace. My solace. I would burn the heavens themselves if that is what you asked of me. Whatever the price, I will pay it with pride so long as I get to spend eternity with your heart in my palm. I love you. Mercilessly. Ceaselessly. Endlessly. Ravenously. I love you with every inch of my soul, and every beat of my heart," he closed his eyes as he leaned into my hand.

I stood on my toes, leaning in to kiss him. He bent down, alleviating my feet. It was a kiss so strong. So pure. So eternal that it would shake the earth if it could. His arm left my back, and I could hear him scribbling away in the book.

"I will remember this, even if you don't. I will cherish this until the end of time, even if you don't. I will carry us through the storm until my legs break, even if you don't. I will anchor us into the ground, even if you don't. I will remember. I will know. I will fight. And I will love. Always," I breathed out.

And that was it. He set the pen down, bringing his arms back. We lost ourselves to our final kiss until the world went black.

(THE END)

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And there it is. The bittersweet ending that I both loved and hated writing. I hope I did this story justice. Truly.

And to my loyal readers- thank you. A million times, thank you. I looked forward to your comments and responses every single day - and it is because of you that I am asking if you would like a sequel.

I had no intentions of doing a sequel to this story when I first started writing it, but I have grown to cherish it and my readers, and I would be elated to write a sequel if that is what you all wanted. Let me know.

Thank you for going on this journey with me. Thank you for your loyalty and devotion. Thank you for motivating me to get up every single day and write with passion. Thank you for adding some light into my days.

Love always,
Ghoste.

Sidenote; I will be adding small *extras* here and there, so be sure to keep a lookout <3