𝓖𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾. PONYBOY×JOHNNY

s i x

Johnny's POV

No.no.no.no.no. this cant be happening hes gonna hate me. He hates me. He thinks I'm weak. Fuck. I should have just killed myself when I had the chance. I'm so stupid. I wasn't careful.

I felt tears well up in my eyes as the voices continued but I felt something wet on my neck. I moved and looked at pony. He was crying. Before I could say something he pulled me in another hug . I hugged back as the tears fell from my eyes. "Why johnny? Why didn't you tell me?". He sobbed. I couldn't look at him. I pulled away and spoke.

"I can't do this pony I hate myself and so does everyone else. I'm useless. I look like shit I'm ugly and I'm in love with a person who would never love me back. I'm a terrible person and i dont deserve to be here. I want the pain and the voices to stop. The voices to tell me to die. That I will never be good enough. Everyone hates me. My own parents and the gang. They don't love me. I hate myself pony." I looked at pony. His eyes puffy and glossy. His cheeks stained with tears. I made him cry. He hates me.

I was going to leave but before I could he grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look at him. "DONT YOU EVER FUCKING SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF JOHNATHAN CADE". It scared me. Hes never yelled at me before. He could tell it scared me and he hugged me and apologized. "I'm sorry Johnnycakes I didn't mean to scare you. But please never say that about yourself ever again. I love you you're my bestfriend the sweetest person I have ever met and I don't know where I would be without you. Youre so beautiful
And so amazing dont listen to you're bumass parents. They don't deserve you. You're perfect Johnny and we all love you even if the person you are in love with doesn't like you back then fuck him. He doesn't know what hes missing out on. You're perfect and if he cant see that then he can go fuck a cactus".

I laughed at the last part and he joined me. I love his laugh. It sounds like angels singing. If only he knew he was the one I loved. "Thank you pony I'm so sorry I didn't mean to worry you thank you". I hugged him and we stayed there just enjoying each others company.

He pulled away sadly. "Johnny?". "Y-yes pony?". "Can you promise me something?". "Of course what is it?" I asked. I'd do anything for pony if he needed it. "Please stop hurting yourself Johnny it's not good for you and it wont make anything any better. Promise me you'll stop. Even if you relapse I wont get mad I promise but please just try. For me". He looked at me with his beautiful green eyes. I loved his eyes they were always so happy and beautiful. But right now they were pleading. Begging.

I was waiting to see any form of pity but his eyes showed sincerity. I couldn't say no. If I had no reason to keep going at least I have ponyboy. "I promise you pony. I'll stop just for you". His eyes welled up with more tears. But this time they were happy ones and his smile was the brightest I had ever seen.
He hugged me so of course I hugged back. When he finally calmed down he looked me in the eyes.

"Johnnycakes?".
"Yes pony?".
"Can I see your arm?".

I hesitated for a second but I nodded. I trust him and I know he wont say anything bad. I slowly show him my arm and look away. I regret agreeing. I'm fucking stupid. I was preparing for all the nasty things he would say. But to my surprise he kissed my arm. I looked at him with my face a deep crimson. D-did he ju-just kiss my scars?
I looked at him shocked he kissed every single scar on my arm and then on the other. When he was done his face was bright red.
"I'm sorry Johnnycakes I just felt like I needed to do that".
So sweet.
"Its okay pone thank you".
I kissed his temple and his face went bright cherry red. I giggled a little. "Hey what are you laughing at?"He smirked at me.  He smiled. "Nothing your face just went bright red when I kissed your head". He went white. Did I say something wrong? But just as the thought crossed my mind he snapped back. "Hey! You're one to talk your face looks like a cherry!". "No it doesn't liar!" I screeched like a kid. "YES IT DOES DONT DENY IT BITCH" he screeched back while giggling. "NUH UH".

We continued to bicker like children and both laughed until our stomachs felt like they were gonna explode. I loved these moments with him. Little did I know they're would be more of these moments

DAMN BITCH 2 CHAPTERS IN A DAY
I'm totally not motivated to write since I'm high as shit but that's not the point t