Walking the Right Path

Chapter 2

Dedicated to Mistokki_Lu for her beautiful comments and votes.

"How was the match?" My mother asked sweetly as though everything was fine when I returned home. I watched her with her favorite apron tied around her waist as she cut the vegetables in the kitchen. She has a warm feeling about her that people would think exudes comfort but to me, I could only feel the cold empty nature from her. My mother participates in all church gatherings, goes to the local orphanages and hospitals with food and other items for them with her fellow peers, she helps others and even counsels them in their difficult times. Then how is it that she's failing to see how her own home is crumbling? Doesn't she know to take care of herself first before advising others? This was one thing that made anger simmer inside me, she's a hypocrite. None of what she does is bad but the fact that it feels like a pretense to cover up her flaws is.

The anger from my failed game, negative thoughts and everything that was stirring inside of me resurfaced all at once. So much so that I found myself ripping the necklace from my neck and tossing it in her direction. A jewelry that I've worn since the day of my baptism which held no meaning to me, nothing ever truly has.

"I'm done."

She blinked rapidly as if trying to clear herself from a daze then dropped the knife she was holding on the chopping board. "What do you mean? Put that back on this instant. Do you know how important it is?" Her focus shifted back to her vegetables. Once again she thought I was throwing a silly tantrum. "Brother Robert stopped by today to invite us to a special church praise service. Can you believe it?," She chuckled, "I know it's really last minute but you're going to love it. The–"

I clenched my fists, "I said I'm done with you and this crap!" 

Her hold on the knife tightened. "Not in this house you're not. What has come over you today, Daniel?" She said with her hands placed on her hips.

"You didn't come, you said you would. I–"

"And so?" She let out a frustrated breath, "It's not like this is a big deal, I haven't been coming for a while and you're doing fine. You're not a little child anymore, I mean a lot of kids your age don't even want to spend time with their parents. Why are you always trying to complain about every little thing?"

Tears formed in my eyes at each word she said. It hurt that showing me affection and sparing me her time was suddenly a little thing when it's all I've ever craved for. And when she'd stopped doing that the day our lives took a rough turn. "I needed you, just like I have for the past twelve years, meanwhile you never hear. Where were you huh? Where have you been? Kissing up to the church people!" I kicked the chair in front of me violently.

It was her turn to get angry, "Daniel!"

"I'm tired of the burden of being this... this person, okay? You may not see it but it's been hard growing up with this hanging over my head. People isolate themselves from me. Do you know how that feels?" I scoffed, "of course you don't because you're too busy with other people to see what's staring at you right in the face. I am done today with all this. What's the point?"

"Shut up! Just shut your foul mouth. I will not allow you to destroy yourself with all this nonsense talk, you must be out of your mind. I'm calling Pastor Oswald to have a long talk with you," she fumbled for her phone in her pocket. "And so what if you don't fit in? It doesn't matter, you should be happy to face trials for your Lord. We...We don't belong to this world," she uttered the same line I've been hearing since I was born.

"I didn't sign up for it, did I?" I gripped my hair in frustration, she didn't understand. "I don't care about facing trials for anyone. Every Sunday I go to church not because I want to but because it's become a norm. I don't feel whatever you do instead I feel suffocated and...and angry. I follow you to every programme, camp, revival, name it but you didn't consider if I wanted to in the first place. I...I hate God!"

Her hand landed on my face immediately I let out the last sentence. My eyes became hooded, I felt my heart harden as hard as stone as well. My mother covered her mouth and began sobbing into them. It's like she couldn't believe she actually went as far as to hit me.

"Go to your room," she managed to say in between hiccups.

I just stood there.

"I said go to your room Daniel," she said with a raised voice. The plan had already formed in my head as though it was always there. I picked up my bag and ran to my room ignoring her silent breakdown after. She didn't have the right to cry, only I did.

That night when she was asleep I quickly stuffed a few clothes, snacks and took some money from the drawer downstairs. When I got everything I needed, I jumped swiftly out of the house through my bedroom window, never looking back once. My body was running on hyper mode. There was no time to think, no time to consider any options or consequences of my actions. I was following this voice inside my head and it told me to leave. I had no idea where I was going but I just needed to run and never come back.