Walking the Right Path

Chapter 9

Prayer has the ability to restore life and bring us face to face with God. Many have not fully tapped into the dimensions of prayer, they have merely scratched the surface. Even now prayer is seen as a means of making requests instead of communing with God. The most difficult aspect of prayer is the time of answer and result. Sometimes it may be soon, like a day or two or a week while other times it could be for a month or years. God's time is always the right time but many do not understand.

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The best part of dawn is the peace and quiet which I have come to enjoy even after the troubling events of sleep. I like to think I've gotten used to waking up in fear from seeing the awful things in my dreams. I liked to think one day it'd go away and I wouldn't have to feel a deep dread whenever I closed my eyes. And maybe I had hope that the previous night would be different after Mr Richardson prayed for me. It was such a vulnerable moment for me, to be held and comforted the way I wished to.

Immediately I opened my eyes, I was filled with resentment. He never listens to prayers and I shouldn't have expected anything different. After years of shouting out my own prayers and asking God why, not once did any good come out of it. I clenched my fists, suddenly the quiet was gone and I was sucked into the turmoils of my mind.

He doesn't exist, you're giving yourself false hope to help you get by, what's the point? This is exactly why you gave up, what's the point?

I fell down, leaning on the wall by the window. Everywhere hurt, especially my chest. It ached so badly that I just wanted to cry but I couldn't. The desperation to find something to fill that emptiness overwhelmed me. I took out my phone from my pocket and went to my gallery. I had a few pictures and videos, there was one I favored the most.

"Is it on?" He chuckled, "I don't even know how to operate this thing, no wonder he calls me old man."

"Derek, you have it in selfie mode, press this reverse button here." My mother smiled, helping him to switch direction.

"It's still not working Samantha!"

"That's because you have your finger on the camera," my mother shook her head.

He laughed at his silliness but nonetheless proceeded to adjust the camera well so he could get a good view. "That's my boy," he whispered, "look at his little legs. Isn't he great Samantha? Go Daniel!! Get the goal! get the goal!" He cheered so loudly at the little boy with a big goofy smile on his face. He was very happy to have his parents show up for his first game at preschool even though it was just a friendly match.

"It's just a friendly game, honey. Relax."

"Yes but our son is going to win and with the most goals. I'm so proud of him, you know that? He can definitely do anything he sets his mind to. God has truly blessed him."

"God has truly blessed us," mom said.

I paused the video. Things had been good, I had parents who adored me and pushed me to do my best. Never did I lack anything or was given a reason to complain about anything. My father loved me...or so I thought.

Daniel then was determined and didn't let measly things get to him. Where did that Daniel go?

Four hours passed by before I got myself up to do my morning routine. The house has been quiet since so I assumed Mr Richardson left for work. I drooled at the sight of fresh pancakes with butter on the kitchen counter, he even added strawberries to it with orange juice.

"I was wondering how long you'd take in there," his voice startled me.

Usually I would ignore him but I made a promise to myself. "It's not like I'm doing anything important. I mean I usually just take my time to think before... before-"