The Checklist (Explicit Version)

Chapter 22

CHAPTER XXII
I Hate You

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   Just let him go, Thea. There is no way us would even work. His brother is my ex-boyfriend. He hates my parents best friends. He's obviously emotionally unavailable. Or is he?

   He wouldn't be here, telling you he loved you if he didn't.

   Pick. A. Freaking. Side. Subconscious.

  "Where's Myles?"

   A scream lodged in my throat as I spun around, only to see Nellie standing by the doorway, wearing the same dress she wore to my graduation. Her eyes flickered over me before pursing her lips.

   "You only got home now?" I asked instead, pressing a hand against my beating heart. "I thought you would've gotten back around the same time as me." The moment the words left me, I stiffened. "Did you... did you know what Myles was planning?"

   Her silence was enough to make me drop my jaw in surprise. "Nellie!" I gawked, planting myself in front of her. "I thought you hated him?"

   "I don't—well, I did. But, not anymore?" She cringed and rocked back on her heels. "Look. You're my best friend, Allie. And you always will be. And because of that, I am bound to support every decision to make, which includes you ignoring the gun-man. But oh my God, Allie, it's getting depressing at this point."

   Nellie threw her head back with bulging eyes. "I mean, this dude was coming by, dropping stuff off and not once did he expect something from you—other than for you to talk to him. And yeah, he was grouchy as shit, but Jesus, he was like a little, demented puppy every time I told him you couldn't come to the door. So, yeah, when he asked for my help a few days ago, I could not not say no. I mean, I want to respect your decision, but now I feel like you have to make a decision after you talk to him. And I'm sorry if that makes you feel like I betrayed you, but I did it for you. Even Valerie helped."

   I was seconds away from laughing when I caught the end of her rant. "Valerie? Our roommate Valerie? Helped?"

   My best friend was nodding her head like she couldn't stop. "Yeah. Myles stopped by when you left, and she saw him preparing the backyard. Myles brought the food with him, but he was worried that it'd get cold by the time you guys got back, so I offered to come back and warm it, so it'd be ready for you guys. Valerie offered to drive me."

   That explains why they came into the building together.

   We stood silence while I processed all the information she gave me. Her eyes bored into mine, her anxiety palpable. "You're not mad, right?"

   I mean, I should be. She went behind my back and helped the guy I've repeatedly sworn to ignore and forget. And yet, I knew she wanted to help me move on.

   "No, I'm not mad."

   Her entire body sagged in relief. "Thank God." She grinned widely, until she remembered her earlier question. I watched as her eyes quickly scanned my room before they returned to me. "I'm guessing the conversation didn't go well?"

   Her inquiry broke the floodgates I've been trying to stabilize for the last ten minutes. All I could do was sit on the edge of the bed and hold my face in my hands.

   "I don't know what the hell to do, Nellie," my words came out in a mumble, "I don't think I can recover from this. From him. What I feel... What I felt when he was talking... I can't do this. I don't think I can move past this."