Unconditional Submission

Unrequited Love

"If you don't tell him, I will." Dawson quirked one intimidating eyebrow and I was beginning to receive glimpses of what my future would look like if I didn't keep my antics at bay.

Lowering my eyes obediently, I played nervously with my fingers as I gently relayed everything I had told Dawson. Only twice did I lift my eyes to check Clark's stormy expressions, but as always, he was impossible to read.

When I finished, I made sure to deflate my own dreams by including how aware I was of the obstacles and flaws in my own plan. Once I had successfully done that, I felt a little less stupid. So, if Clark was reacting similarly to Dawson, then the rejection wouldn't be so bad.

While I had been speaking, Dawson crossed the cabin and settled himself in one of the leather seats in front of the fireplace. His yellow hair caught the firelight in orange while the blue light from the greyish outside cast him in a glare of bright sapphire.

Once my tale was over, an uncomfortable silence filled the cabin. Clark paced slowly in front of me, his hands tucked behind his back with thoughtful lines chiseled firmly across his face. His eyebrows were drawn so far down and knit so close together that he almost looked angry.

My heart skipped in my chest at the possibility of having angered him.

Nothing frightened me more than angering Clark.

Before lowering my eyes once more, I watched Clark's eyes catch Dawson's, and between the two of them, they shared some secret little message that I felt a little perturbed not to be a part of.

And then, just like that, Clark's face softened, his pacing paused, and his hands were gently holding mine as he knelt to my level.

"Katherine," he spoke gently. "My beautiful girl." His thumb smoothed gently across the top of my hand. "You know that we can't do that... right?"

At Clark's words, dread and hopelessness bled deep inside of me. I couldn't stop the tears even if I wanted to.

Dropping my head, I bit my trembling lip before my quiet tears turned to uncontrollable sobs. Then, I nodded.

Clark was right. He was always right.

Moving to Berkelium wasn't an option.

"The issue we're dealing with now is far more tolerable than the issues we would be dealing with if we tried to live under the radar in Berkelium," Clark explained, his voice patient and gentle as if he was trying to reason with a frightened and stubborn child. "I know this seems hopeless, Katherine," he sighed. "But, I need you to trust me when I say that everything will be all right."

I sniffled sorrowfully and Clark's fingers tightened around mine.

"Remember what I told you last night?" Clark ducked his head to capture my eyes. "I told you that if you were to end up with anyone that wasn't me, then I would want it to be Dawson. I trust him with you, and I want that to bring you some comfort. Does it?"

My head nodded yes, but my heart screamed NO.

Clark lowered his voice. "Eyes, Katherine." I obeyed. His hand lifted from mine to hold my jaw, preventing me from turning or lowering my head. "I can see the fight in you, and I understand why it's there. But, we will get through this. I promise you, we will. I just need you to trust me."

I nodded again, and I felt the pain and fight inside of me drain out just a little bit. In its place, I felt... nothing. I knew the nothing I felt would fester and rot if I didn't rid it from my heart, and I didn't want it to get that bad. I needed to feel, even if it was just pain.

Pain was better than nothing.

"Have you eaten yet?" Clark asked.

"No, Master."