Hits different. (COMPLETED)

7

Tw: mentions of abuse, Misscarriage, abortion and sexual assualt. Please don't read this chapter if you are sensitive. This is just trauma I created for charlottes backstory.

Charlottes P. O. V.

"You said you've been keeping a secret from Taylor." my therapist says. I nod as I Held my knees on the couch. "Do you want to elaborate?" she asks. "I used to be in a abusive situation." I admit. "Abusive how? Mentally physically verbally?" she asks. "All of the above" I say. "Who was it with?" she asks. "My ex boyfriend." I say. "Boyfriend. So after this relationship is when you Came out or before?" she asks. "After. I didnt. I didnt um put myself out there again for about a year." I say." what made you realize you Were attracted to women? " she asks." have you seen women? " I ask. She chuckles." fair point." she says." not only how they look I was trying to be funny but in my experience women tend to be more caring. Gentle. Understanding. Ive only been with Taylor for 2 years but shes been my best relationship. Not only because of the gentleness and understanding she has but because we Communicate. And thats one thing ive never had in a relationship. It was scary at first and I think she could tell ive been through something but she hasnt asked. " I say." why do you think she hasnt? " she asks." because she doesnt want to push me or force me to talk about something I'm not comfortable with. I mean. I had an abortion. I never thought id be able to say that out loud but. The reason I had one is dark and I'm sure you can put 2 and 2 together. Its hard. Its really hard to move on from that it destroys you mentally. And its why I'm so insecure. " I admit." maybe if you tell her about it she will be able to help you with your trauma" she says. I chuckle." I don't know" I say." does she know youre in therapy? " she asks." no" I say." if you called her right now and told her what would she say.how would she react? " she asks." shes be happy I think. But then shes start asking too many questions. " I say holding my head with my hands. " why is that a bad thing? It tells her whats going on with you" she says." she should be focused on tour not me" I say." well when does tour end? " she asks." next month" I say. " I want you to bring her to our next meeting then. " she says. My eyes widen. "Youre homework is to open up to her." she says shutting her book. "No wait! Cant we wait longer? I'm not ready" I say. "Thats why you have a month. Look I know it wont be easy. But its gonna help you two. Not only be closer and more of a team. But youre letting her in. Has she let you in? " she asks." yes" I mumble." so return the favor. If you need help telling her you can wait till the next session. But try on your own" she says. I sigh." okay. " I say."good. Good job today. I'm proud of you youre making good progress" she says. I smile."thank you" I say.

The next session.

"I'm scared" I admit." you don't have to be. I wont judge you you know that" she says with her hand on my thigh as she drove to the therapists office. "its hard to open up. " I say." I know. But I'm patient. You don't have to say everything. " she says. I nod. As we arrived my anxiety began to rise but she sensed it kissing my forehead. Her blue Eyes filled with love and worry. "I'm not gonna be angry. Upset. I'm not gonna run. I'm right here babygirl. Whatever it is that youre scared of telling me. Its not gonna make me think any different or less of you." she says. I nod. "Do you wanna do this? I can turn around." she says. "No! No I want to. I want to let you in. More than anything. Its just so hard. " I admit. " when we go in there its me and you. Nobody else. " she says. I nod. We go inside." hello ladies. Nice to meet you taylor. She talks alot about you" my therapist says. Taylor smiles." oh does she? " Taylor teases. I smile shyly." okay. So I'm assuming she told you why youre here" sarah (my therapist) says." she said she needs to open up to me" Taylor says."yes. Shes been hiding alot because shes afraid of how you'll react" sarah says." yes but i assured her that I'm not gonna react how she thinks most likely" Taylor says." good. Now I'm gonna sit out most of the session I wont say anything ill be listening." sarah saya sitting in a chair across the room. Taylor Grabbed my hands and Held them turning me to her. She smiles at me. "I don't know where to start" I admit. "Why don't you start with the beginning." sarah says. I nod. "You know I was in a relationship 2 years before I met you" I say. "Yes. I remember you telling me" Taylor says placing her hands on my waist. I smile at her touching. She knows how much I need it right now. "Well um. He was. Not the best person after about 2 months in" I admit. "Why?" she asks rubbing my sides. I felt a tear fall. " he started being verbally abusive. Made me feel worthless. Which is why im so insecure. Then that turned into physical abuse. I started having to tell my mom that I was just clumsy when I reality hed come home drunk and I was slammed against walls my head was banged against the piano. He would beat me. Then that eventually turned into sexual abuse. " I admit. She pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into her shoulder." I was so scared. I didnt know what to do how to tell anyone. I didnt think to run because I didnt want to burden my mom. And you know I couldnt tell my dad. So I stayed. " I sob. She rubbed my back." then. I-i was having morning sickness out of nowhere. And I took a pregnancy test. " I say. " and when I told him. I liked to you sarah I didnt have an abortion I had a misscarriage. " I admit. Taylor let out a sob holding me tight." do you know how bad you have to break someone for them to have a misscarriage. " I sob." i-im so sorry" she sobs." no its not you don't have to apologize" I sob." you went through all That and you still are so strong for coming out of it. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I cant change the past. But what I can do Is help you moving foward. You are so wonderful baby" she sobs. I cry with her. We finished crying after a while. " thank you for not judging me. And for looking at me the same way you did yesterday" I say with a sniff. " of course baby. Ill always look at you this way" she sniffs.

To be continued....

A/n: UMMMMMMMM SOOOOO KUMBAYA