My Master (intersex x woman)

Chapter 27- Flashbacks

*Flashback*
Timeline: After Vic's death, before Em's Paralysis.

It had been a little over forty-eight hours since finding out about Victoria's passing and Emily was distraught. Not only was she feeling unwell physically, but mentally she was hanging on by what seemed like an invisible thread.

They occupied the old couple's home they so graciously chose to abandon so that the Queen could hide out. Emily cried herself to sleep earlier that day, only to be startled awake later that night by strange shuffling sounds that echoed in the humble wooden room. The blonde sat up in bed, her eyes taking a few seconds to adjust to the dark.

Sniffles could be heard in a dark corner of the room, prompting her to slide out of bed and in the direction of the noise. She barely caught a glimpse of the tall woman sitting with her knees to her chest, her face buried in her arms as she quietly sobbed.

"A-Annabelle?" she didn't trust her own voice to speak.

The queen didn't budge.

Heavily pregnant, Emily still managed to kneel beside the older woman. Her hands were balled into fists, claws visibly boring into the flesh of her palms. Thin lines of blood trickled from the self-inflicted wounds.

"Annabelle," she tried again, holding onto the hybrid's fists. "You're hurting yourself. Please, just look at me."

The queen released a deep breath before meeting her eyes with bloodshot ones. It appeared to Emily that she had been crying for quite some time. She squeezed the woman's hand gently, sighing when Annabelle finally released her fists.

"It's my fault." she finally spoke. "Everything, all of it." Tears fell freely and Annabelle made no moves to hide it. "Death...Death follows me, Emily."

"Anna—"

"No," she cut her off. "We bickered constantly; we fought over things that suddenly mean nothing. None of it meant anything. I never wanted things to be this way—it just happened. I never wanted to be the cause of her pain, but I was." She wiped her bloody palms against the soft fabric of her shirt. "She was the first and only woman I loved. That moody, hard headed, mind consuming, torturous wolf was everything to me." Annabelle chuckled at the last part. "There's a part of me that thinks... her sacrifice was as much for me as it was for you. I know she wanted to protect you Emily—but a large part of her wanted to protect our child, the child could never give me."

Emily's heart felt like it was in a vice listening to the woman's bereaved rant. The anger she held on to slowly fizzled out, the pain she'd felt all those months suddenly seemed minuscule as she watched the woman, she'd originally feared crumble in a way she'd never imagined possible.

"She was your wife and we both know she loved you Annabelle. I've only heard bits and pieces from her own mouth, but it was always how she loved, and was loved by you—despite the hardships you two faced. It's going to be one of the hardest things you'll face, but please...don't beat yourself up like this."

"The guilt...It's been eating me alive." The words were barely above a whisper. Annabelle's body shook as she tried to take even breaths. She felt like the walls were closing in on her, like she was reliving the death of her loved ones all over again.

Emily's soft palm held her face in place, staring into her deep grey eyes. "I'm so sorry Anna...I'm so sorry this happened." She breathed. "I'm here, I'm with you...we'll get through this together."

--

Despite her comforting words, over the next few days, Emily found it increasingly hard not to feel anger towards the queen. It was hard not to blame every terrible thing she'd been through the past months on her. She closed her eyes, blinking back a few tears before rolling onto her side in bed.