Dream Chaser

8.

Your words
Their words
My words

Truth is your words and mine hurt the most
The fact that I sit and listen to your bitch ass
Hurt me with those same words that you used to say those three words
Is that the same mouth you shared with me your hopes and dreams ?
Your words
Went from forever
To sometimes I hate you
I hate your body
I hate your masculinity
I hate your mind

My words
I love you no matter what
But it hurts sometimes to love you
Sometimes I want to tell you that your words hurt me
I gotta be a big girl and take in all of your words

Be a big girl they say
Shit, sometimes I cry when I'm alone cause your words, their words, and mine makes a big girl
feel small

"What's the story behind this one?" Sincere asked me as he turned one of the pages of my poetry book.

"My ex, he was my worst night mare." I took the book from him. "He used to always call me masculine and other things that I just didn't understand why he would say those things to me.  So I wrote a poem about what his words do to me..."

*********

"You turn me off Mya, with all that masculinity shit that you do."

"Then fucking leave Bryson, leave. I'm sick of you, get the fuck out of my house."

"Here you go again."

"Shut the fuck up Bryson, just fucking go on."

Bryson grabbed me by a handful of my hair. "I'm tired of your fucking mouth. I told you to stop disrespecting me right?"

"I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you." I kicked him in the balls making him let go of my hair.

"Things got so bad, really bad." I played with the strings of my poetry book looking down.

Sincere grabbed the book and closed it. "He didn't deserve you." 

I literally forgot  about that poem. A few months back I was one angry bitch and all my poems were about my relationship with Bryson. I stepped away from writing about him a long time ago. In order to heal you have to take the trash out and that was exactly I did when it came to Bryson.

"I know, " I nervously bit my lip as Sincere stepped closer to me. "And you think you do?"