Existential

Chapter 6

"Oh hello! Are you Alice? I'm Kelly," her voice is sweet and she holds her hand out to me. I smile at her and shake her hand when I notice Tyler's father come up behind Kelly.
"Hello Alice, I'm Chris. Tyler's father," I repeat the same gesture with him and Kelly doesn't hesitate to invite me inside. I am quick to thank her but deny the offer. We go back and forth and it isn't until Tyler sends me puppy dog eyes that I cave in. They welcome me inside and I see Kelly give me a knowing look once she glances at our intertwined hands. I shrug her off, trying to wordlessly say that we aren't dating. I don't think it worked because she just winks at me before turning back around. I see another boy cut in front of us into the kitchen before backtracking to look at us. He stops our walking and smirks to Tyler. I'm assuming this is his older brother.
"Tyler, I never knew you had a girlfriend." He drawls out and looks between me and Tyler.
"Oh no, we're not dating." I am fast to argue and his brother just flicks his eyes between us. He seems a bit unconvinced but is polite enough to introduce himself like his parents.
"I suppose...Anyways my name is Zack. Nice to meet you..." Zack trails off and Tyler takes the empty air to say my name. "Ah Alice. I hope to see you around again." Zack winks at Tyler before turning and going in the direction of where he was originally headed.
"It seems your whole family is convinced we're dating." I mutter to Tyler and he just shrugs. His brown eyes meet mine and he shows his dimples. He ushers us in the same direction as his brother and realize it's the kitchen I passed this morning. Our hands begin to gently swing between us as we stand in the middle of the large expanse of space between the oven and counter. Kelly shuffles around with pans and I see two other people whose names I cannot place. Chris moves around us and I observe the unfamiliar bustle of a normal family. I think I'm trying too hard to pay attention because I feel dizzy for a moment. I lean further into Tyler until my head is resting completely on his shoulder.
"We need to sit,' Tyler says and I notice the stools surrounding the front of the counter. I assume this is the seats because that's the direction Tyler leads us. I sit down next to him and my hand feels cold as Tyler lets go. I frown a little bit but soon the rest of the family sits down. Kelly places a dish of spaghetti in front of us. I examine the sauce and notice specks of beef have been expertly sat in the marinara. I scrunch my nose at the sight and try to hide my vegetarian habits. It's why I drink Peace Tea at lunch, I have no other option really. She places plates in front of us and scoops an equal amount of pasta in front of each of us. She also places the silverware and I can appreciate her efforts. I just need to figure a way to scrape off meat without being obvious.
"Let's join in prayer." Chris says as Kelly sits beside him. I notice all of them join hands and raise my eyebrows at Tyler when he reaches his hand out to me. I can only handle so much change in one day.
"C'mon, we can eat after this." He urges me and I continue to keep my hands in my lap.
"Kids is there a problem down there?" Kelly's sweet voice rings out and am quick to answer again. I don't really want to make a bad impression but its best I be honest.
"Yeah I'm agnostic. I don't believe I can join you in prayer." I explain and see every Joseph raise their eyebrows. I don't know if this is at my statement or my boldness. I smile to try to relieve the quiet tension and Chris is the first to break the silence.
"May I ask why you choose this?" He questions me and Kelly says something to the effect of, 'honey don't question her about this now.'
"Personal choice from personal experience. I haven't believed in God since I was 13 Mr. Joseph and I don't think it's right if I lie to you all about my beliefs. You can go on and pray but I will not be able to participate." I explain and lean back into my chair. Even Tyler has seemed to tense up at my words. It takes a few moments but soon enough I hear Zack leading prayer.
"Dear God thank you for this food today. Hopefully Ms. Alice may find you soon and bring you into her life. I hope you bring happiness for those here today for the rest of the week."
"Amen." Everyone mutters before immediately digging into the food. I pick up my silver fork and begin to work the meat out of my sauce. I begin building a little pile on the side of my plate and Tyler looks at me quizzically. I continue my separation and notice Tyler use my spoon to help me. I smile at the small gesture and silently thank him for not questioning me. It seems I am starting to be quite the opposite of this family. I sigh once Tyler and I have finished digging through the pasta and Ty returns to his plate. I stuff the spaghetti into my face and finish the plate.
"Thanks for the dinner Mrs. Joseph but I need to return home," I smile at her and get up from my stool. I notice Tyler also get up and he says that he will take me to the door. We walk out of the kitchen and Tyler follows closely behind. We near his front door and I turn around to face him before walking home.
"Uh, I'll see you at school right? I mean of course we will we have practically the same schedule. Anyways..." Tyler stutters out and I roll my eyes at him, he's being silly over something so simple.
"Yeah Ty, I'll see you then. Hopefully you don't see me wandering to the park anytime soon. See you later I guess," I say and we envelop each other in a hug. Tyler gives really good hugs honestly. I pull back from him before smiling again and turning for the door knob. I open the door and walk out into the cool outdoors. It's actually pretty dark out now and I can only see due to the illumination of the street lights.
"You want me to walk you home?" Tyler asks me. I tell him no but wave before finally turning away. I walk away and hear the door close as I progress down the gray concrete. I stuff my hands into my pockets and realize I'm still wearing Tyler's clothes and hoodie he gave me at the mall. I shrug it off and decide I can give it to him Monday. As I start to actually pay attention to my surroundings I suddenly realize there's a car parked in front of my house. I groan internally as I assume it's either my parents or Pine. I know it's not Josh because it'd be a blue Honda and this is a silver Volvo. Pine actually doesn't have a car so whenever he would need to see me he'd take his parents or borrow one of his friends cars. When I see the suitcases lining the sidewalk I quickly got rid of the idea that Pine would be here. Shoot, my parents are here.
I guess I can't go through the front door, I want to have nothing to do with them. I pull Tyler's hood over my head and look down. I can already hear them bickering through the open front door about something stupid. I walk down the side of the house and open the back gate leading into the backyard. I've gotten out and into my room this route enough to do it in my sleep. No, I literally slept walk once and woke up outside of my bedroom and in the backyard. I drag out the worn ladder as quietly as I can. I place it against the wall and place it under my window. I climb up the rungs and once I reach the top I sit up on the large window frame. My window is kind of weird because its circular and one side is on hinges so I can pop it open. I push on the glass and it swings open. I climb in and leave the ladder there in case I need to quickly escape. I slide over to my door before closing it and locking the door. I change out of Tyler's clothes but keep the hoodie on and settle for some loose shorts. I climb into my black covers and wait to hear thumping outside my door.
You see whenever my parents first come home they're quick to try and bother me. Most of the time my father is already drunk from airplane vodka and my mother were to have a half dozen shots of whiskey once she's home. My parents are definitely not lightweights. I grab my phone out of the pocket in the sweatshirt and scroll through my contacts. I pass Josh and consider texting him, it's either him or Tyler. I'm pretty sure I've bothered Tyler enough today though.
Alice: Hey Joshua I just got home to find my parents here...
Josh: Are you alright? Do you need me to come over?
Alice: No no it's okay I can leave when I want and my door is locked.
Josh: Well you have an ensuite right? Make sure to lock the bathroom too.
Alice: Oh yeah, I'll do that now. Can you stay up for a little while?
Josh: Of course, now hurry up and lock that bathroom
I get up as quietly as I can before tip toeing to the bathroom. I creak the door open that connects my bedroom to it and walk past the sinks to the main entrance of the bathroom. I switch the lock and deadbolt (I had that installed while they were gone a few months ago) and head back over to my bedroom. As I pass my room door I make sure the locks are secure, I test the doorknob and when it doesn't budge I'm satisfied. I sneak back over to my bed and get under the covers. I grab my phone off the pillow and keep texting Josh. I hear a few bangs from downstairs about every so often but nothing too worrisome.
Alice: Hey do you want to come over tomorrow? You'll just have to get in the way I showed you last time
Josh: No I can't tomorrow sorry L I have to do "family time" as in my parents questioning my drumming. But I know who you should ask over...
Alice: Huh, that's too bad I'm sorry, and who
Josh: You should hang out with Tyler, he lives in your neighborhood
Alice: I know, I talked to him today
Josh: Oh great, Tyler is way cooler than Pine anyways
Alice: I don't want to talk about this now Josh sorry. I think I'm going to sleep. I'll call you if I need anything.
Josh: Cya later Alice
I turn the screen off on my phone and lie my head down on the pillow. I tug the fabric of the hoodie against my shoulders as my eyes flutter closed. I fall asleep as my door knob shakes and I hear whispers outside my door.