Existential

Chapter 8

"No it's weird," I protest and Tyler squeezes my shoulder. I smile at the small gesture and lean more into Ty. He is much more comfortable to be with than Pine. Pine is more of a forceful person and will only comfort in physical engagements. Tyler seems a lot more...healthy for me I guess. I can't really remember the last time Pine complimented me or did something nice for me.
"Want to watch some random TV show marathon," Tyler offers and I nod. I get up from the stool and Zack says he can get rid of the remnants of my pancakes. Tyler keeps his arm around my shoulder as we walk the short distance to the couch. We sit down and I curl into Tyler's side as he turns on the TV. He sorts through the DVR before settling for World's Dumbest.
"Oh my god I love this show. Do you have any of the commercial ones," I ask him hopefully and look up to Tyler. He looks down at me and smiles before saying yes. He puts on the segment I requested and I lean my head back on Tyler's arm as Danny Bonaduce makes some stupid joke. We filter through at least seven episodes before I decide I'm tired again. I yawn and I close my eyes as I lean my head down onto Tyler's chest.
"Do you want some shorts instead of those skinny jeans," Tyler mumbles and I nod. It is kind of uncomfortable with my legs curled under me. "C'mon let's get you some gym shorts." Tyler gets up and tugs me up by my hand. He keeps his hold on my hand as we go down the hallway to his room and he closes the door behind us. I go to sit on his bed as he sifts through his drawers. He finally pulls a red pair of shorts out and throws them to me.
"Uh, I guess I'll wait in the hallway." Tyler says and wanders out of the room. I peel my pants off and slip on the loose red shorts. I tighten the waist and fold my pants before placing them on the ground next to the bed. I open the door and lean on the door frame as Tyler jumps at the sudden noise.
"Did I scare you," I laugh and cover my mouth.
"Er no you didn't," Tyler mumbles and I roll my eyes. I wrap my hand around Tyler's wrist and pull him closer to me.
"I wanna sleep some more." I mutter as he stands just barely 3 inches away from me. Go Alice, flirting with someone while you have a boyfriend. Whatever, I think I'm going to break up with Pine anyways. Tyler's eyes somehow seem darker as he nods and I lower my hand so our fingers are intertwined. "Let's go take another nap Ty."
I lead the way to his bed before lying down and Tyler gets down next to me. He wraps the blanket around us before curving his arm around my waist. I rest my head on his chest and place one of my arms under my head and the other I absentmindedly knot into his hair. I mess with his unstyled hair as he traces patterns along my rib cage. My shirt rides a little up my hip but I don't really care.
"Are you going to sleep? I mean either way I don't really mind doing this I'm just wondering." Tyler whispers.
"I was planning on it but this is really comfy," I mutter and look up at Tyler through my eye lashes. I can see him looking down at me and this is the first time in a while that I've felt completely safe. I smile at him and he smiles back with his stupid dimples that make me want to die. "Your dimples are really cute." Oh god, I completely let that slip out.
"Well thanks," Tyler says and his dimples deepen. I stifle an 'aw' and try to avert my gaze so I don't do something else embarrassing. I feel Tyler move some of my teal hair off my face and I look up at him as his fingers brush against my fair skin.
"You're staring," I mutter and a shade of red appears on his cheeks. I poke his cheek and laugh.
"Not my fault. You're too pretty not to look at," Tyler mumbles and I laugh again.
"Sure sure Ty," I look away from him finally. I continue twirling my fingers in his short hair and we sit there in comfortable silence. It just feels...right in this situation. I think I've just needed someone who can make me forget what's going on in my life and maybe Tyler is that person. I move one of my legs so it's resting between Tyler's and close my eyes. I move closer into his side as I finally try to actually go to sleep. Once again Tyler kisses the top of my head and I reflexively twitch my leg in response. I do let myself finally fall asleep though.
I wake up to Tyler lightly snoring and his door, which was closed, creaked a little open. I raise my head off his chest a little bit and rub at my eyes with one hand. Ugh, at least I'm not so tired anymore. I detangle my legs from Tyler's and try my best to quietly get off the bed. I guess Tyler is a deep sleeper because he doesn't even stir when my feet loudly thump onto his floor. I look back at Tyler's frame and grab the hem of the blanket. I drag it up so it covers Tyler all the way to his shoulder. I grab my phone off his nightstand and check the time. It's 5:34 and I've been here since I woke up early this morning. I think I should probably go home soon as much as I don't want to. I pad over to kneel next to the bed.
"Tyler, Tyler, " I mutter and push on his shoulder. He groans and rolls over to face me. His dark eyes are framed by his eye lashes as he slowly opens them. I smile at him while poking at his cheek until he pushes away my hand.
"Stop poking my face," he complains and I take my hand from him.
"But your dimples are so cute," I pout and sit back on my heels. Ty smiles at me and reaches down for my hand and puts it on his face. I absentmindedly draw random designs delicately on his cheek where his dimples are. My face is merely 3 inches from Tyler's and I swear I could just kiss him right now. My fingers tingle when they press against his cheek and he flutters his eyes closed again. I move my head a bit closer to his and slow my fingers to a stop. I stare at his closed eyelids until they slowly open.
"Why'd you stop," he asks me and I shrug. I sit back so I won't be so awkward and I hear Ty grunt. "No, come back." He protests. I laugh before folding my arms over my chest and saying 'no.' Tyler rolls his eyes before tearing the blanket off of him and crawling down to the floor. He wraps his arms around me from the side and I lean into him. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I look down at his messy hair. I fall down to the side suddenly and Tyler lands to the side of me. I giggle and roll onto my hip so I'm facing a very disgruntled Tyler. "You just like to tease me."
"And I enjoy every second of it Mr. Joseph," I reply back with a smirk on my face. He looks up from the rug and connects his eyes with mine. He puts his arm over my waist and onto the small of my back before pulling me into his chest. I bury my face into his shirt and breathe in the familiarity. He smells like chocolate and mint. We sit there on the ground for a little while before the tune of 'Cemetery Drive' suddenly begins playing. I jump up from the floor and hurry over to my phone that ring tone only means one thing. My parents are calling. I stare at the name displayed in tiny pixels on the screen as I contemplate answering. I turn back to look at Tyler's form on the ground who has pulled the blanket down to the floor. I smile, for the last time in a while assumedly, before answering the phone.
"Hey Dad," I mumble into the receiver. I stare at Tyler's door as I pretend I could bore holes into it with my eyes. I liked to think I was a strong young woman but when it came to my parents it was like I was four years old again. I snap out of my thoughts quick enough to hear the end of my father's speech.
"-come home right now." He shouts into the phone and I instinctively move the phone further from my ear.
"But I'm at a friend's house Dad," I protest and wrap my arm around my middle. I hear Tyler's footsteps behind me until he gets to my side. 'Are you okay?' he mouths and I quickly nod my head.
"That doesn't matter. Come home right now or else your punishment is going to be much worse Alice," his words cut into my like knives. This can only mean one thing, I'm coming home to drunk parents with fists swinging. I can practically feel the impact of their knuckles on my sides already.
"O-okay dad," I mutter before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. I stare blankly ahead of me until I hear a thump to the floor. I look down to realize I let my phone fall out of my hands. My vision gets blurry as I think about the hell I'm going to have to walk myself into. Tyler's arms wrap around my waist as tears roll down my cheeks. I place my arms around his back but they're tingly and numb. I can't even feel his shoulder blades like I normally would.
"You're gonna be okay," Tyler whispers into my ear repeatedly as my eyes grow red and my head begins to throb. He rubs circles into the small of my back with his thumbs and I grab tighter to him. The fabric of his shirt gets bunched up in my small fists as I pull Tyler closer to me. I wish my life didn't have to be this way. I rub my face against his shirt as an attempt to dry it before pulling away from him. I regret moving but I do need to get home now.
"Can I at least walk you to your house?" Tyler's small voice asks me. I nod and his bony fingers intertwine with mine. I didn't even notice my hands were shaking until Tyler held my hand. He opens his door and guides us out to the hallway, I can hear the clanging of pans as Mrs. Joseph begins cooking. Tyler yells that he's taking me home before opening the front door for us. I hear a chorus of goodbyes and smile at the hospitality this family has. Tyler closers the door behind us and begins the dreaded walk down the sidewalk. I cling onto his jacket with my free hand as if it'll make me safer. It does keep me close into his side though which makes me feel a bit more secure. Tyler wordlessly walks us down to my house and we stop in front of my home. It doesn't feel much like home though. He moves so he's standing in front of me and takes both of my hands in his. I stare at our entwined fingers before looking up at him. Tyler looks tired again and I can tell he's stressed out for me. "I'll be awake. Just text me if you need me to let you in the house."
He pulls me in for a hug and I hold onto him for dear life. I breathe in his familiar scent again trying to engrain it into my memories. Chocolate and mint. Chocolate and mint. I sigh as his warmth leaves me and his arms reluctantly leave me. I cling onto him for as long as I can before I hear the front door open. I jerk away from Tyler and push on his chest. "Go," I usher him and he gives me one last look before turning and hurrying away. I turn and stride to my mother standing on the patio with her arms crossed. Her eyes look more and more stony the closer I get to her. Once I finish going up the stone steps to the patio her hand reaches out and grabs onto my arm. I can already feel the bruises forming under her fingertips.