My Fault

I hate you.

'I hate you. I hope you know that.' I yell.

'Oh okay. You hate me.' Gabriel scoffs.

'Yes I hate you. So I hope you're happy.' my voice cracks.

'Why do you hate me? I changed my whole life for you. I'm a great person.' Gabriel's voice breaks.

'I'm sorry. I just can't.' I stutter.

'You can't what, Kris? You can't what?' Gabriel sits in front of me and puts his hands on my thighs.

'This... us.. me and... and you. It's too much. Even for me.' I stutter.

'I'm sorry... I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be.' Gabriel looks down.

'Me too.' I sniffle.

'I really am sorry. I really wanted this to work. But I guess, it was never god's plan. And that's fine. I can live with that.' Gabriel explains.

'You might be able to live with that, but I can't, Gabriel.'

'I'm sorry. But if you can't, neither can I. I don't want to be your friend, Kris. It's too damn hard.' Gabriel gets up and starts pacing around the room.

'Okay.' I look down.

'I won't be able to see your face, I won't be able to talk to you, I won't even be able to look at you. It's too hard. I am so sorry.' Gabriel pulls me into a hug.

'I know.' I smile as tears start to come out my eyes.

'Don't cry on me. Please. Don't cry.' Gabriel kisses my head.

I don't say anything, but all I do is hold onto Gabriel for as long as I can.

'Hey.' Gabriel looks me in the eyes.

'I promise, one day, I will do my best to be able to be with you. Someday. Just not today. I'm sorry.' Gabriel pecks me.