Falling To Pieces #1 (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Katherine asked from the doorway.
I looked up from my book and put on a fake smile.
"No, I'm good. You and Micah have fun."
She sighed in frustration, causing her bangs to blow up and fall down, perfectly into place again.
"Okay... what is going on with you and Alex?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Don't do that" She frowned. "Don't play dumb. The two of you were basically best friends, now all of a sudden you guys don't even speak? And let's not forget about what happened on Saturday. He ran after you when you went upstairs and when he finally came back down, he was pissed and just left without saying anything to anyone. And then! You didn't even bother coming back down again."

I turned my attention back to my book and couldn't help the bitter smile that tugged at my lips. It was Thursday and she was only now bringing up Saturday's events. After Alex left, I had locked myself in the bathroom and had a whole meltdown. I stood under the shower until I was able to cry out all my tears. It took a long time and even longer for the puffiness under my eyes to go away. When I finally came out, everyone was gone except for Micah, who had still been in the hot tub with Katherine. It was then when I realized that she hadn't even checked up on me. She was too caught up with her boyfriend and this new life to make time for anyone or anything else. I don't even remember the last time we had a proper conversation.
"Did he do something to you?"
"Who?" I played dumb again
"Kara..." She said in obvious frustration.
I considered telling her everything that happened between Alex and I. She wasn't going to be happy about it but, it was a bit too late to do anything about it now. I considered how badly she would take the news. She already didn't like Alex all that much and only tolerated him because he was Micah's younger brother. Knowing Katherine, she'd probably make a big deal of it and I was really just trying to avoid this mess from escalating. However, maybe being completely honest with someone I truly trusted would make me feel a little better. Lift some of the heaviness I've been harboring, somehow.

Her phone signaled a message and just like that, I lost her attention. She rummaged through her new designer bag and smiled when she looked at her screen.
"It's Micah, he's at the door" She grinned, and then looked at me and tried keeping a straight face. "We'll talk about this when I get back, okay?"
A lie.
"Okay." I said. "Enjoy."
She smiled widely and waved, before quickly making her exit and leaving me on my own... again.
I allowed my smile to drop, and let my head fall back onto my pillows. I've been left alone, again, with nothing but my troubling thoughts. I didn't want to succumb. If I did, I'd allow darkness to tighten its grip on my spirit. What I needed was something to occupy myself with and I immediately turned towards my instrument. Playing always made me feel lighter, even if only for a little while. It was the only bit of light within my reach right now and I clung to it desperately.

I settled down with my beautiful instrument that had been gifted to me by someone so dear to my heart and started playing piece after piece of the finest classical tunes, which I had come to perfect over time. I'm not sure how long I sat there for, but I played and played, chasing a high that I never wanted to let go of. I played until my fingers and wrist stiffened and screamed for me to stop. When I finally relented and decided to take a little break, I set my cello aside and stood up to stretch my joints. I was about to turn away from the sliding door when a movement caught my eye.
I usually sat on the balcony and played to the beautiful view but since it was dark out, I hadn't seen the point in going out there tonight. The sliding door was pulled closed but my blinds weren't completely shut. I hadn't noticed that until now... not until the movement on the other side.
There it was again.
A shadow... A dark figure?
Was someone standing outside, or was I losing my mind? The latter seemed highly likely these days.

Even though panic started to bubble up inside me, I found my legs slowly making its way over to the sliding door. I leaned in and looked through one of the thin slits between my blinds and swallowed a shriek when I discovered there definitely was someone on the balcony, right outside my bedroom door. I was scared shitless but also relieved at the knowledge that I haven't completely lost my mind... yet.
The looming figure was dressed in a black leather jacket that was thrown over a black hoody.
A man.
He was tall and his shoulders were broad but, his hood kept his features hidden and he's restless pacing made it difficult for me to make out who it was. What was he doing? Was he a thief? A kidnapper? A seriel killer? In this neighbourhood? Not likely.
I picked up my bow, because it was the first thing I saw and all but ripped open my blinds.
Now, I know that it probably wasn't the smartest move on my part; I had a cello bow as a weapon. If it were a real criminal with a gun, what would I have done? Whacked him with it? Luckily for me, I didn't have to find out. When I saw who it was, a messy string of emotions flitted through me; relief, longing, anticipation, confusion.... anger.
Alex studied me with wide eyes, and then shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked almost nervous as he rocked back and forth on his heels and studied me as if he were trying to gauge my mood. I refused to give anything.
I watched him reach for the door, his cautious expression melting into a look of relief when he found it unlocked.
"You ever play poker?" He asked as a way of greeting.
I continued to just stare. Something told me he didn't come over here to ask if I wanted to play a stupid game of poker.
"Because, I'm pretty sure you'd be brilliant." He continued.
I waited still.
"I mean, how do you do that? How are you able to keep the muscles in your face so... still? I'm usually good at reading people but you, Kara? I can never tell what you're thinking and that scares the shit out of me."
Okaaaay... not what I was expecting. Then again, this was Alex. No one ever knew what was going on inside his head or what was going to come out of his mouth next. He was the one who scared me but, I wasn't about to admit that.
"What do you want?" I demanded.
He removed his hood, and ran a hand through his hair, and then yanked on it a little. It was something he did when he was frustrated, and I hated the fact that I knew that. He let his hand fall to his side and sighed heavily. After a couple of seconds, his hand went back up to his hair, causing it to look completely dishevelled. The crazy hair really shouldn't have added to his appeal.
Damn him.
"There was something I just... I needed to tell you... I mean, say. I needed to, uh- I'm... I'm sorry..." He stuttered and then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry." He said more firmly.
I blinked in surprise, not expecting... Well, that.
"What are you sorry about?" I asked, once I'd recovered.
His brows furrowed. "What?"
"What are you sorry about?" I repeated louder, even though I knew he heard me just fine.
"You're really gonna make me say it?"
I shrugged and pretended to study the 'weapon' I still held in my hand.
"I wanna know if you know what you're apologizing for"
"For being a dick." He answered immediately. "For not calling after, we- after that night, and then just showing up here and giving attention to another girl, while I pretended you weren't even there... and mostly for calling you a... a bitch when you got mad about it"
I crossed my arms and glared at him
"So you knew exactly what you were doing. It was deliberate."
He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.
"What was the plan exactly? Were you trying to hurt me?-"
"No!"
"-because, I remember you telling me that you'd never hurt me intentionally and yet-"
"It wasn't like that!"
I gave him a dry look and slid the door closed in his face. Or at least I tried to. He put his foot on the threshold to stop me and then he pushed the door back open without much effort on his part. That didn't mean I stopped struggling to shove him out and slide the door back closed.
"I only came here on Saturday because I wanted to see you!" He yelled, almost desperately.
I laughed harshly at that one.
"Really? Is that why you ignored me? Oh my God, everything makes perfect sense now!" I said sarcastically
He glared down at me and then forced his way into my room. He was standing way too close to me. The delicious mix of spicy cologne and cigarette smoke, assaulted my nose and I found myself melting, just a little. It pissed me off that I missed his scent. Although, it wasn't until now that I realized just how much. He lifted his hand to my cheek but, I flinched away before he could touch me.
"Get out" I said, sounding weak even to my own ears.
Unlike last time, he didn't budge.
"Alex... I'm not doing this with you. Whatever game you're playing, I don't want any part in it."
"Game?" He smiled almost sadly and shook his head. "Kara, I woke up the next morning and you weren't there."
I blinked stupidly.
"It was around 6 in the morning and you weren't in my room or my bathroom... I got worried and started looking for you and then I heard voices coming from downstairs, so that's where I went"
A cold feeling washed over me.
"And you heard him."
He heard what his father had said. How he had warned me off and called his own son a rotten and worthless. It had been hard, hearing his father talk about him like that. I couldn't imagine how much harder it must have been for Alex... but why was I being punished for that?
As if hearing my thoughts he said;
"Yeah. And you listened. You left."
I frowned and started to explain his misunderstanding but he spoke again, cutting me off.
"I don't blame you, you know. He can be pretty fucking persuasive. When Spencer Montgomery speaks, people usually listen... and he was right so walking out was the smart thing to do, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less"
He cleared his throat suddenly and shoved his hands back into his pockets. He started rocking back and forth on his heels, just like he'd done outside. He was nervous, and he looked like he wanted to say more but, he was still groping for the right words.