Teenage Dream

Yearning for your Love.

It has been a couple days since the bonfire and things only got worse from there, Hyunjin hadn't been to school and everyone was worried, no one could get a hold of him and even them showing up to his house didn't work. His phone would ring over and over again and the knocks on his door would go unanswered. At this point no one could do anything but hope it got better between the two.

Felix noticed the boy wasn't around, he wondered if he was okay... well at least he hope he is. He wanted to stop at his house but was it even his place to do so ? He's positive he's the last person the boy wants to see. After that night with Yeonjun, Felix took into consideration Yeonjun's offer to become more then friends, I mean he's known the boy all his life, his parents like him, he's liked maybe even loved Felix since they were young. Thinking logically that would be the type of person you should spend your life with, there's no uncertainty or wondering if they like you and there's no game of push and pull.
All he gave the boy was a "I'll think about it"

The kiss with Yeonjun was a one sided passion, Felix kissed him back out of surprise but he definitely didn't melt into it the way he did with Hyunjin.
He went to the bathroom after class and that is where he saw Han and Innie talking about something "Hey guys .. have you seen Hyunjin .. I need to talk to him" he exclaimed. The boys gave him a look before they replied "no we haven't seen him or heard from him.. not like you would care anyway" Han snarled. Felix was surprised at his tone and his assumption "what are you talking about ? Of course I care and who are you to tell me I don't" he gritted, Han scoffed "sure Felix .. then why did you kiss Yeonjun" he said as he washed his hands.
Felix had a dumbfounded moment but soon realized "he tried to kiss me ! I pulled back after that and told him I .. I couldn't" he said in defense.
"And how did you know I-" he tried to say before he was cut off "Hyunjin saw you that night and ran out of the house crying .. that's how I know" he turned, facing Felix, Innie was in the middle of the whole thing as both sides became upset.

Felix's heart stopped when he heard this .. "ok well he has a girlfriend why does it matter !" He yelled.
Han chuckled "this is your problem lix, you get one silly idea and you run with it, and you refuse to hear anybody out. I don't even see why this is all a big deal to you anyway, you were only supposed to lose your virgi-" the boy was abruptly cut off mid sentence "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM THAT'S WHY !" Felix yelled, his voice echoing through the bathroom.

"That's why it's a big deal ! That's why I'm worried ! I have loved him since 9th grade and I haven't stopped ! I tried to move on, I tried to convince myself if I stayed away from him .. that one day I wouldn't feel this way for him anymore but I CAN'T. No matter how hard I try, I see him and I fall in love all over again ..." he said, as he cried, all those emotions he tried to pretend he didn't have resurfaced and hit him all at once.

Han grabbed the boy into a tight hug, letting him cry into him.. ironic that the boy held these two lovers as they wept for one another, not realizing that the tears that streamed down their faces at different times were for the same reason. "Felix .. you can't pretend anymore, you two are both playing a game that no one will win in the end .." he whispered as he caressed the boys hair.

Felix got up and wiped his tears, Han was right ... he needed to stop putting up this facade that he didn't love the boy anymore, that his mind didn't think of him or that his heart didn't skip a beat when he was near. All this time he was lying to himself thinking that if he pretended not to care, one day he'd wake up and he wouldn't. That isn't true though because even if he moved thousands of miles away or fell in love with someone else, or grow old and lose his memory all together. His heart would remember and it would still beat the same rhythmic pattern it did, when he first laid eyes on him.

He got up quickly and ran out the door and eventually out of the school, he's never ditched before but he was willing to deal with the consequences later. He ran without stopping to the boys house, he didn't know how it was going to go or if the boy would listen but for the first time in his life he wasn't scared. He turned on his street and took a huge breath before walking to his door step, the beautiful home seemed empty as he knocked and knocked with no answer. He became anxious and frantic, what if something bad happened and it's all his fault.

"If you're looking for Hyunjin .. he's not home" he heard a voice say, he swiftly turned to see none other then his girlfriend standing there. He froze up, how does he explain this away ? "Do you .. know where I can find him ?" He said, a little nervous to even be talking to the girl right now "I have no idea.. he hasn't been home for a couple days now" she said as she put a box of stuff down. Felix saw that the box contained pictures and some sweaters, miscellaneous things like a teddy bear and dried out flowers. Felix didn't want to ask as he felt it would be intrusive but he did wonder what she was doing with it. "If you see him by any chance .. do you think you can tell him .. that I stopped by" he said.
"I think you should tell him yourself Felix" she said, as she looked at him with sincere eyes.
How did she know ? Does she know about that night ? Is she mad at him? His anxiety began to rise.

"So you are the one his heart yearns for .." she smiled, she sat down at the steps of the boys house as she motioned the blonde to sit next to her, he hesitantly sat down by her side. They stayed silent as they heard the birds chirping and the wind rustling by "You know .. I started liking Hyunjin back when we were kids, our parents were acquaintances and they always believed me and him would end up together."
"We stayed friends all these years, up until this summer where he asked me to be his girlfriend" she added, Felix felt the ping in his chest as he was nervous to know where this was going.
"At first I was more then happy, I finally felt that my dreams of being with him were coming true and that we'd live a "happily ever after" but then a few weeks ago, he tells me that he needs to tell me something."
Felix didn't know where this was going but he was all ears as the girl continued.
"Long story short .. he tells me that he loves someone else and that he couldn't pretend anymore" she sighed, Felix's head shot up.
"You would think I'd be surprised but I KNEW.. i knew deep down inside he didn't love me .. and I think I just convinced myself he did, because when I looked at him with love in my eyes, he was looking at someone else. Someone who's had his heart all along

Felix looked at her confused as she began to turn to him.. "Felix .. you have had that man's heart since 10th grade and you never even realized it" she exclaimed. The blonde began to piece it all together in his head, trying to figure it out but couldn't.
She laughed at his cluelessness "remember in 10th grade when you broke your arm and you couldn't properly carry your lunch ? But a tray would always be at your table" The boy nodded as he remembered clearly. "Well that was him, he'd purposely leave class 5 minutes early to get there on time to get you a tray and place it at the table you sat at" she said.
The blondes heart began to flutter at the memory.
"And remember during Valentine's Day when you could buy cards and send them to people ?" She giggled as the boy nodded his head eagerly.
Felix remembers exactly because he got 5 one year, never found out from who and he still has them.
"Well would you believe he bought you five of those cards to send to you because he didn't want you to feel left out .." she smiled

Felix was flabbergasted at the moment, all those times that he thought the man didn't know he existed, there he was watching over him from afar,
like a guardian Angel of some sort. The girl watched as all this information processed in the blondes mind, "I want to give you something" she said as she got up and went to the box, pulling a velvet box out.
she grabbed the objects and went over to him, handing him 2 sets of ring that were black and white.
Felix immediately shook his head "no .. those are yours, I couldn't take them from you" he insisted.
"Felix I bought them to give to Hyunjin but I think you deserve to have them ... they're meant to give to the person you love and that is you"

"It's always been you and he just didn't realize it"