You got me weak at the knees | vmin ff

Chapter 10: Pain of longing

just as he hears someone clearing their throat a third time does jimin muster the willpower to lift his head from his arms heavily, eyes still half-shut. when a bright light surrounds him and he registers people looking at him, jimin opens his eyes completely and sits straight, a gasp leaving his lips. it seems the constant sound was actually seokjin trying to wake him up. he looks at his friend slash not very happy teacher with what he imagines is guilt and embarrassment settled all over his face, but this doesn't stop the teacher from throwing a raised eyebrow in his direction and turning his back while he continues talking.

"as i was saying, next class is crafting's evaluation, so please bring what you have advanced so i can make notes for this week's report. and that's all, you may leave, have a nice day, everyone," the older finishes, staying at the front of the classroom while everyone gathers their stuff. jimin hurriedly packs his things and waits for his classmates to leave before coming to seokjin.

"professor...," the boy says cautiously. seokjin is turned, making himself busy and ignoring jimin's call. "... seokjin, i'm sorry," he tries again, and this time the other slowly stops what he's doing and sighs.

seokjin turns and crosses his arms over his chest. jimin takes the strap of his bag tightly, eyes looking at the floor, he feels embarrassed and sad and even disappointed in himself.

"i-"

but seokjin stops him with a gesture of a hand. "you know i'm fairly understandable of you and your classmates," the older asserts, tone serious, "when i saw you dead over the table barely two minutes into the class i thought 'maybe he's tired, he'll get up in a moment', but oh surprise, you fell asleep the whole class, a day before evaluations and if that doesn't scream 'i don't care' then i don't know-"

jimin looks up at that, shaking his head, eyes watery as if on the border of tears. "no! no, no, you know i'll never- i didn't- i care, you know i love this class, i love being here, i just...," the boy suppresses a sob because what in hell is going on with him?

he steadies his breath and looks at his friend with all the sincerity he can convey, "i've been feeling like absolute shit since yesterday but that's not an excuse to fall asleep during class and i know that. i'm really really sorry. i know that it is already hard for you, seokjin, i'm truly sorry," he ends his rant dumbly.

jimin really does know, seokjin has told him how many students have challenged him because of how young he is, how he had had a hard time gaining some of his major's mates' respect and making them see him as an authority. jimin knows and that just adds fire to the guilt burning in his chest.

seokjin takes a good look at him, jimin tries to maintain eye contact with the older, even though all the shame he's feeling is threatening to make him cry right in that moment, but then seokjin closes his eyes briefly and sighs again.

when he opens his eyes, a sad smile appears on his lips. "don't cry or i'll cry too," he prompts, and jimin's laugh sounds a little constipated but he does what he can. "i know you didn't mean it, i guess it hurt a little more because it was you, it was wrong of me to be so harsh," seokjin offers, but jimin shakes his head repeatedly with a pout on his lips.

seokjin chuckles and makes a gesture for the boy to follow him to exit the classroom. they walk silently and jimin waits for the older to lock the door before resuming walking side by side.

"i guess we both had a rough start of the week, huh?" seokjin hints, looking at the boy with a quirky smile. jimin huffs but his shoulders slump a little. he vaguely recounts what happened the day before at his photography class, how he hasn't been able to shake that feeling of sadness, and how scattered he's been all day.