Sanity to my Insanity

Chapter-5

Dylan

Heart and brain squaring against each other,
Blaming one for the misery of their owner,
Heart weeping at its vulnerability,
While the brain is living in denials of reality,
Accusing the heart of being weak enough to feel,
But being a hypocrite ignoring the truth that keeps nagging,
A part of both is conflicted to do what the other says,
But, is scared to hope and let someone in,
‘Cause when they barge out again, the pain would be too excruciating to handle,
The cerebral asking the chambers to keep their guards up while the heart soars at every innocent touch,
It's frustrating to be stuck in this fight in the middle,
‘Cause both are crucial parts of one and hurting their decisions hurts.

🩵🩵🩵🩵

I have been torn between my thoughts, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so distraught even after such an amazing weekend we all spent together.

When we came back from our exploration, we hugged each other goodbye, and I made my way with Journey to the dorms, and we cuddled and talked before falling asleep.

But I have been feeling this uneasiness and a bit of insecurity after my realization that Arden started meaning a lot to me. Will he forget me after he meets new people.

In due time, we won’t share any classes together, will we stay best friends, or will we end up growing apart?

That thought in itself made me teary. I don’t know why the fuck am I getting so teary. I am never the one to cry at small things. I have always fought strongly like my brothers taught me.

Yup I am no wimp. I won’t cry.

I video called my family and after talking and laughing with them for an hour, it was time for me to make a move towards my class so I gave them my princess smile that I store only for them and said my goodbye.

Making my way to the first lecture which was unfortunately Economics, a subject I have no love lost for, I sat down in my usual seat and Arden dropped beside me. He was such a oblivious man, I couldn’t belief a specimen like him exist. I shook my head at him chuckling and he smiled at me, sending me into a fit of giggles at my thoughts.

He is cute when he is all oblivious and idiot.
I tried focusing on the professor but the dull pain spreading in my lower abdomen, almost drove me insane.

I squeezed my stomach with my left hand trying to find comfort it after those cramps.
I felt a sharp pain as another cramp hit me and I felt like my fallopian tubes were twisting together with each cramp in my tummy.

“Hey… hey, you okay? What’s happening?” Arden asked worried.

“Cramps.” I whispered.

“Do you want me to take you to the nurse or maybe bring some medicine or dark chocolate?” I smiled at him softly as I shook my head.

“I don’t take medicine for them…mom says it’s not good to depend on them for the small pain.”

“Enduring that pain is what’s not good. Come on let’s go the nurse.”

“Not right now.” I started to speak and he glared at me for stubbornness. I shook my head and held his hand. “We can go after class. I couldn’t walk right now.”

He seemed to understand and smiled at me while squeezing my hand.

After class we went to the nurse and he made sure to give me some painkillers for the pain.

It was my period hormones messing with my head and once they are gone everything will fall back into place eventually.

I felt a relief and couldn’t stop smiling thinking about his concern. He is my best friend and he won’t be going anywhere. I should trust our bond. It’s just my messy hormones messing up with my head. They’ll be over soon.