Bound By Pain

20

"Fuck!", I exclaim to myself. I throw a couple of books into my bag not even bothering to check if they're the right ones.

I'm late to English. I'm guaranteed a long and sleep inducing speech when I enter Mr Neville's class. But I have to risk it. I have to fix Todd and Charlie's relationship.

I quite literally sprint to Todd's class, maths, and knock on the door frantically.

I enter and greet his teacher, Mr Nightingale. "Todd Smithfield is wanted at the office.", I tell the middle aged man. He nods.

I go over to Todd and take him out to the hallway with me.

"Whatever this is, must be good. Even got you lie to a teacher.", Todd snorts. "Not that you haven't done worse."

"Could you shut up and let me speak.", I spit. "I know you and Charlie had a fight over the kiss."

His hazel eyes cloud over with an emotion I can't place. He gulps.

"She didn't want to do that. It was some dumb game and she's sorry. She just wants to talk to you. Make peace."

He smiles sadly. Then," That's not it, Bin. I'm not angry because of that." He flails his hands, "I'm Angry because she didn't tell me she was leaving, she didn't give me time to convince her to stay."

I figured me talking to Todd would make things worse but I'm surprised to find the circumstances are a lot less terrible that what I had expected. If he was worried about her leaving it means he still cares.

"Oh.", Is all I say. I really didn't expect this. I'm pulled out of my reverie by the looming thought of English. I dash, not even saying goodbye to Todd.

--------

"Hey.", I say placing phone between my shoulder and my ear. I button up my jacket.

"Bin, I called to say thank you.", Charlie responds. She sounds happy, extremely so.

"For what.", I furrow my brow.

"For talking to Todd. He came over today. He wasn't angry about the kiss. He was just broken up about me leaving.", She sighs through the phone.

"We made peace. We didn't get back together though. He says he doesn't want to be the reason I let my dreams go."

A smile creeps onto my face. "I'm glad you guys are good and I'm glad you spoke about it. I'm in a bit of hurry right now so can we talk about this later?"

"Sure. Thank you again.", She cuts the call and I stuff my phone in my back pocket.

I'm moving at lightning speed. I make a turn and pass a small shop. I rush to the building next to it and take the steps to the second floor two at a time.

I turn into a passageway and find room 17. I take a deep breath. I have to do this. It's now or never. I hesitantly place my knuckle on the door and knock twice.

The door cracks open slightly revealing my mother's deep brown eyes. She looks scared until her eyes land on me and they soften.

"Baby.", She whispers.

I put a smile sincere smile on my face. "Can I come in?"

She hesitates but gives in nodding slightly and opening the door to let me in. The room is small. There's a kitchen area in the corner and a bed in the middle. A small tv is hung on the wall. It looks as if it hasn't been used in a while - as if it's dead.

I wipe my hands on my thighs and turn around to look at mum. She's stood nervously behind me. She doesn't say a word.

"Could you make me some tea?", I ask. She smiles and nods. Mum starts on the tea and I sit myself on her bed. It's not homey. It's cold and lonely.

She brings the cup of tea over to me and pulls a chair to sit infront of me.

She sips her tea. "How have you been?", She inquires her voice groggy.

"I've been okay. Henry is more expressive. He's taken a liking to burgers a lot these days.", I say attempting to lighten up the conversation.

Why am I stalling?

She nods in acknowledgement.

I take a deep breath.

Times ticking.

"Look, mum.", I start placing the tea down. "I didn't come here to make small talk. You have to come home."

She sighs tears rolling into her eyes. "I can't. I can't do that to you and Henry. If I come back Rob will too and I won't be able to live with that."

"Mum, Henry needs his mother. He needs someone who loves him. Do you know how hard it is for him in school when people ask about his mum?", I raise an eyebrow. "He can't have a normal life if you leave. Believe me or not that's all I want for him."

Her tears are falling freely now. She's sniffling too. "But what about Rob?"

I stand up and move over to her. I hug her. "You can report him. Tell the police. It's abuse mum and you can't let it keep happening to you."

She looks me in the eyes. They're hopeful. Just a bit.

"You could make things right. Get your family back. All you have to do is report him and you'll have us back. You can be happy. It's now or never.", I say rubbing her back.

My words ring in my ears. Maybe I should take my own advice. Tell Grey how I feel. At least he can leave and I'll know I have no regrets.

"Will you come to the police station with me?", Mum asks.

I nod frantically helping her up."I will."

-------

The police station was triggering. My was in tears half the time but they made sure her case was taken care of. Court dates have already been set and they're in about two months. Mum agreed to testify against that monster of a man.

Everything is falling into place. Save for one thing.

I have to tell Grey how I feel.

I stare at him. He's reading a poem. A poem that I wrote. He's leaving in two days and if don't tell him now then it all goes to shit.

I push myself up and onto my feet. I trudge over to him mentally psyching myself to say the words.

He looks up at me. I can tell he's wondering why I'm so bloody nervous.

"Are you okay?", He asks. It gives me flashbacks of that day at the bakery.

I want to say yes. To back out while I still can but I have to do this. One thing that benefits me.

"No. I'm not okay.", I hesitate. "My whole life I've lived for other people and, fuck, it's been exhausting. I want to live for me. I want to do what I want. I want to be my own person."

He stands up an we make eye contact. He's confused but he's listening and in that second of confusion I take my chance. I risk it all for potential happiness. I lean in and place my lips on his.

It's electric. It's soft. It's all good things put into one. It's the world melting and it seeming like it's just me and him. Just us. Alone.

His hands move to my waist as he pulls me closer. Mine explore his hair and we kiss for what feels like hours. When we come up for air I see it in his eyes. I see it in those green orbs.

He feels the same.